Life

Life jokes

Airplane

There are 4 people on an airplane, and the pilot has a heart attack and dies. The plane is going down, and there are also only 3 parachutes. So the guy who knows how to cure cancer says, "I’m jumping. I can save many lives." Then the 46th president, Joe Biden, says, "I’m taking the 2nd one." So there is only one left. Donald Trump says to the 7-year-old girl, "I have lived a long life. You can take the next one." So the little girl says, "That’s ok; the 46th president took my backpack." Lol.

Stereotype

A Chinese wise man once said, "ching chong ling long ting tong," which means, "keep striving in life."

Orphan

Me: I’m gonna smite the life out of you!!!

Orphan: What! No! Please no!

Me: What you gonna do? Run home and tell your parents? Wait, I forgot, you don’t have a home or parents!!!!

Wheelchair

There was a man in a wheelchair, and he got knocked out in front of a bus. He had a wheelie good life!

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  • Animal

    You know, life as a pufferfish is tough. They get startled, then they get hard.

    Ocean

    What did the ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, it just waved.

    I hate my life.

    Phone

    Stephen Hawking tried to charge his phone and unplugged his life support.

    Depression

    Hey everyone, I'm back because I'm sinking back towards depression because my sister is really being a bitch, and my parents always side with her, and the stress over online school is just getting overwhelming, and I'm seriously considering hanging myself to end it all because the pain is just... terrible, and I feel like I'm not worth life.

    Wife

    How do you know if your wife is dead?

    Sex is the same, but the dishes keep piling up.

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  • Orphan

    What's the similarity between an orphan and my dick?

    They both will die alone.

    Orphan

    The orphan tried to play baseball, but he couldn't get home because home doesn't exist for him.