My life, ha ha funny!
Life is like a game of chess.
I don’t know how to play chess.
You know, life as a pufferfish is tough. They get startled, then they get hard.
What did the ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, it just waved.
I hate my life.
Stephen Hawking tried to charge his phone and unplugged his life support.
Hey everyone, I'm back because I'm sinking back towards depression because my sister is really being a bitch, and my parents always side with her, and the stress over online school is just getting overwhelming, and I'm seriously considering hanging myself to end it all because the pain is just... terrible, and I feel like I'm not worth life.
How do you know if your wife is dead?
Sex is the same, but the dishes keep piling up.
The Stiggs life is a joke. Wait, I forgot, he doesn't have a life.
One time, a cow saved my life.
It was bovine intervention.
What's the similarity between an orphan and my dick?
They both will die alone.
The orphan tried to play baseball, but he couldn't get home because home doesn't exist for him.
My life, but wait, jokes actually have meaning.
Me. I am the joke.
Imagine not having a dad.
What's worse than a failed suicide, you ask?
I fail suicide because you forgot to do the dishes and your parents come after you and they're the ones to kill you, not yourself.
Life is karma... because I was born, God gifted me with social awkwardness, sh*t athletic skills, and stupidity.
Being an orphan isn’t all bad.
On the bright side, all your snacks are family sized.
I hope death is a girl. That way, it'll never come for me.
What’s the similarity between a broken pencil and my life? They’re both pointless.
Me, an orphan: *laughing at orphan jokes*
Some person: Stop laughing, it's sad to laugh at your pain.
Me, an orphan: That's the funny part, what am I going to do, tell my parents?
