Life jokes
Hi, my name isn't Pi.
Look up at the sky and wonder why.
Why are you alive?
If Republicans really wanted to enact pro-life legislation, they would ban guns, not abortion.
Why do people not adhere to the corona measures?
Because they hate their lives and want to die.
Why did the mushroom kill himself?
Because he had a mushy life.
My peepee small.
Louie's parents tried this.
Memes
Me trying to make improvements to my life
Whatβs the hardest part about eating a vegetable in a wheelchair?
Why do kids with cancer hate their birthday?
They don't know if they'll be alive to see it.
Waking up is the second hardest thing in the morning.
These jokes make me want to die.
In a thick Russian accent:
"Let's buy some vodka, pollute the earth with oil, and make insecure nuclear power plants that break all the time! Ah, yes. The mother land. A great place to be. Not like those stupid Ukrainian people who are living happy lives, they are crazy and need to die."
What's the worst living thing on planet earth?
Humans.
What do you tell someone who has depression?
Answer: Just hang in there.
My mom said I rely on my devices too much, so I unplugged her life support.
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer.
It never gets old.
I was about to joke about your life, but I think your life is already a joke.
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
They can't see their family.
Why would a cannibal stop eating people?
If they got fed up with them.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
Not to see his parents.
"Why didn't the boy pick up his ice cream?" - Margaret
"Why?" - Depressed boy
"Because he got ran over." - Margaret
"I wish that was me." - Depressed boy
Drinking coffee when you're anxious is about as effective as using gasoline to put out a fire, but slurp slurp guess who's an anxious bitch who never learns.