Why do orphans like Monopoly?
To cry about the money they can’t earn in real life.
Life Jokes
I was about to joke about your life, but I think your life is already a joke.
If your parachute doesn't work, don't worry.
You have the rest of your life to figure it out.
I’m rather relaxed about death.
From quite an early age, I’ve regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth certificate.
Bully: How’s your girlfriend?
Kid: I don’t have one. How are your parents?
Bully: *cries*
Kid: *Walks out of the orphanage*
If the noose breaks, stab yourself!
If the knife is dull, shoot yourself!
If the gun's out of ammo, *YOU'RE HERE TO SUFFER ETERNALLY.*
Life isn't about pleasing yourself and that you have to do things for the sole benefit of God.
It’s like masturbation. Sometimes it’s not getting yourself off, but getting someone else off too. That’s what thighjobs are for.
Ashley said to me one day, "What is my name?"
And I said, "My name is everyday life of stupidity."
What's the difference between an orphan and a flower?
The flowers actually get picked.
My joke is your life support getting unplugged because my phone is about to die.
Kid: Hey, why am I an orphan?
Adult: I don't know, ask your parents.
If you execute someone in ventricular fibrillation in the electric chair, will they come back to life once and then die?
What’s the difference between an orphan and a flower?
One is beautiful.
I don't get progressive leftists these days. They claim to be supporting BLM, but they aren't pro-life.
A nun going down a water shoot? She never felt so wet in all her life!
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
They can't see their family.
What did the tree do to the emo? Left her hanging.
What's the difference between me and a depressed kid? At least I'm out of the grave.
Yo life got no meaning, just like your dad when he left. Like if it's a good one.
Whenever someone calls me ugly, I get super sad and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.
