Life jokes

What do rapists like to suck?

The life out of their victim.

Most controversial types of matter:

1. Dark matter 2. Anti-matter 3. Black Lives Matter.

Waking up is the second hardest thing in the morning.

These jokes make me want to die.

Why do people not adhere to the corona measures?

Because they hate their lives and want to die.

Why did the mushroom kill himself?

Because he had a mushy life.

My peepee small.

In a thick Russian accent:

"Let's buy some vodka, pollute the earth with oil, and make insecure nuclear power plants that break all the time! Ah, yes. The mother land. A great place to be. Not like those stupid Ukrainian people who are living happy lives, they are crazy and need to die."

What's the worst living thing on planet earth?

Humans.

Dark humor is like a kid with cancer.

It never gets old.

My mom said I rely on my devices too much, so I unplugged her life support.

What do you tell someone who has depression?

Answer: Just hang in there.

Want to hear a joke?

My life. Get it?

You are about to hear the funniest joke ever.

My life.

History teacher: "They had a temporary cure for the disease, but it would be years before they found a cure for life."

Student: "I need that."

What kind of flour do orphans use to make bread?

Self-raising.

There was a fish looking for a great meal. He looks above him and sees a fly. He thought, "If that fly drops six inches, I would have a meal." Long story short, a pussy gets wet.

What do children with cancer and Russian soldiers have in common? Their life doesn't last long.

Abortion isn't murder.

It's backspacing a typo.

Orphans have 362 days in a year because they don’t have a Mother’s or Father’s Day and no birthday.

What’s the difference between an emo and a pack of Oreos? The emo’s barcode gets longer every day.