Life jokes
What do you call a Black man having a seizure?
Chocolate shake.
I'd tell a bad baby joke, but I decided to abort.
The orphan tried to play baseball, but he couldn't get home because home doesn't exist for him.
What's the similarity between an orphan and my dick?
They both will die alone.
Why are all orphans criminals?
Because they want to know what it's like to be wanted.
Are you a gun because I want to live with you?
How do blind kids get punished?
By moving the furniture around the house.
Orphan, they're enough of a joke.
Friend: How's it going?
Me: Good, things are good!
Parent: How are you?
Me: Oh, I'm fine!
Twitter: Compose new tweet?
Me: Hellooooo, I would like to tell you about my anxiety & my current greatest fears & let's talk about the impending apocalypse while we're at it.
I forgot you can't make depression jokes outside of Twitter, lmao. My coworker was like, "You ready for this year to be over?"
I was like, "I'm ready for this life to be over." He was like, "Bro, what?"
If R. Kelly was a therapist:
14 year old: I hate my life.
R. Kelly: I feel you.
Why do my kids die?
Stinky Oussy :D
Hi, oooo was the day I was a kid. I was going home to school today after dinner!
Me. I am the joke.
What's worse than a failed suicide, you ask?
I fail suicide because you forgot to do the dishes and your parents come after you and they're the ones to kill you, not yourself.
What’s the similarity between a broken pencil and my life? They’re both pointless.
Life is karma... because I was born, God gifted me with social awkwardness, sh*t athletic skills, and stupidity.
I hope death is a girl. That way, it'll never come for me.
Being an orphan isn’t all bad.
On the bright side, all your snacks are family sized.
Why do risky people have cats?
So they have 10 lives with them.