Life jokes
Friend: How's it going?
Me: Good, things are good!
Parent: How are you?
Me: Oh, I'm fine!
Twitter: Compose new tweet?
Me: Hellooooo, I would like to tell you about my anxiety & my current greatest fears & let's talk about the impending apocalypse while we're at it.
If R. Kelly was a therapist:
14 year old: I hate my life.
R. Kelly: I feel you.
What’s the difference between a microwave and a 10 year old girl?
The microwave doesn’t fart out blood and diarrhea when you pull your meat out.
I forgot you can't make depression jokes outside of Twitter, lmao. My coworker was like, "You ready for this year to be over?"
I was like, "I'm ready for this life to be over." He was like, "Bro, what?"
Why do risky people have cats?
So they have 10 lives with them.
Why do orphans love school so much?
They have no HOMEWORK.
"Never going to give you up." That's not what the orphan's parents said.
Hello, everyone, how is your day today?
I saw a little kid crying today. I asked where his parents were, and he started to cry more. I left the orphanage to get some milk after that.
Why can't orphans have a large bag of crisps?
Because it's family size! 😂
Quote of the day:
A bad attitude is like a flat tire. You can't go anywhere until you change it.
Chao!!!
Q: What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
A: One of them gets picked.
Hello everyone! I just came back! How are things going?
What's the difference between an orphan and a dew?
One goes up and one goes down.
What animal has more lives than a cat?
A frog. It croaks every night.
Life is like a game of poker, guys start by going with them clubs, ladies follow with a set of hearts, guys put down the diamonds, and before you know it you got a full house.
When you think of the word "simp," you think of a girl. "Girl" stands for ghosts in real life. Another word for simp is "ding dong." Put them together, and you get ghosts in real life with ding dongs.
Your life, that's all.
Friend: If you could get rid of any one person in your life, who would it be?
Me: Me.
Friend: *does nothing*
(x_x)
I forgot that I don't have friends.
Why do my kids die?
Stinky Oussy :D