Life jokes

I forgot you can't make depression jokes outside of Twitter, lmao. My coworker was like, "You ready for this year to be over?"

I was like, "I'm ready for this life to be over." He was like, "Bro, what?"

The orphan tried to play baseball, but he couldn't get home because home doesn't exist for him.

What's the similarity between an orphan and my dick?

They both will die alone.

Friend: How's it going?

Me: Good, things are good!

Parent: How are you?

Me: Oh, I'm fine!

Twitter: Compose new tweet?

Me: Hellooooo, I would like to tell you about my anxiety & my current greatest fears & let's talk about the impending apocalypse while we're at it.

What’s the similarity between a broken pencil and my life? They’re both pointless.

Putin be like CSGO is much harder in real life!

Chalie has an eating disorder, and he is shorter, so is his life, but he will never get a wife. He's a gay motherfucker who wants to be hit by a trucker?

You know they're lying when they say, "My mom's picking me up."

I was spending my holiday in Paris with my gf. As we were walking near the city, a meteor hit and killed my gf.

Forensics did an autopsy on the corpse and concluded that someone missed a pen and hit my gf from the PSG training ground. SHAME ON YOU PESSI FOR RUINING MY LIFE! 🤬😡

I hope death is a girl. That way, it'll never come for me.

Me, an orphan: *laughing at orphan jokes*

Some person: Stop laughing, it's sad to laugh at your pain.

Me, an orphan: That's the funny part, what am I going to do, tell my parents?

What's one advantage of being an orphan?

Nobody can make mama jokes about you. 🌚

Why did the orphan kill itself?

Because he's depressed about no family.

I asked an orphan where his parents were.

(God, I wish I knew)

Why do risky people have cats?

So they have 10 lives with them.

Why do orphans love school so much?

They have no HOMEWORK.

I saw a little boy sitting on a curb wearing rags.

I said: "Aww, are you an orphan?"

And he responded with "Yeah. What gave me away?"

And I said: "Your parents."

Hello, everyone, how is your day today?

Hello everyone! I just came back! How are things going?

Why can't orphans have a large bag of crisps?

Because it's family size! 😂