
Life jokes
5 4 3 2 1. I love the huge bright sun. 5 4 3 2 1. My life has just begun. Though Akeld and Unkown, make me feel alone, they want be dead, and off with my head, and all I said was... NO FRICKIN' HATIN' IN THESE COMMENTS! WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!
Why did the orphan sit alone in the corner?
They wanted some family time.
What’s an orphan’s favorite cereal?
Because it’s the only magical string in his life.
Little Johnny was sitting in class one day, and the teacher was talking about life. The teacher asked him, "Little Johnny, how do you want your wife to be like?" Little Johnny answered, "Like the moon." The teacher said, "That's such a beautiful answer because it's calm and peaceful." Little Johnny replied, "No, because it appears at night and disappears in the morning."
If you ever have a gay friend whose comatose, tell his family he/she was a fruit. Now he/she's a vegetable, at least they're still in the produce section.
I'm not going to bungee jump. I was born because of broken rubber and I'm not gonna die the same way.
Today, I operated on a little girl. She needed O-negative blood. We didn’t have any, but her twin sister has O-negative blood. I explained to her that it was a matter of life and death. She sat quietly for a moment, and then said goodbye to her parents. I didn’t think anything of it until after we took her blood and she asked, “So when will I die?” She thought she was going to give her life for her sister. Thankfully they both died.
Why is being alive so expensive? I'm not even having a good time.
My life.
Kill me, please.
One of my friends named Jill had a drug overdose.
She didn’t have any of that drug after that. For the rest of her life, she acted very high. When she died, it was because of natural causes, not the drug. So this proves that a lethal dose is also a life time supply.
Another joke, I know they suck.
What is a depressed person's favorite joke? Their life.
I woke up this morning thinking it was gonna be a great day. But then I realized I was still alive.
My hair goes just onto my collar bones. WOW! That's longer than I'll live.
What is the difference between the human and a tree and a house that has to walk home and walk walk home from school? Was your name in your house? I did not have any good time for dinner today, but I did have a good night's sleep.
What's the worst living thing on planet earth?
Humans.
Life is like a penis. It is short.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
Me: I have lost it.
Random: Lost what?
Me: My will to live.
Oliver Savage's life.
Why can't orphans breathe? They are drowning in their own tears.
