Library jokes
One of my students asks, "Can I have a bookmark?"
A year of school and they still don't know my name is Danny.
I just got a job at the prison library.
It has its prose and cons.
Man 1: I-I ran my mom over to get a stupid book.
Man 2: Aww, books aren't that bad. I'm sure she thinks you're a great son considering she can't drive anymore.
Man 1: She was in the road, and I was rushing to get the last copy of this book. She can't drive or do anything anymore.
Got a job at the library yesterday... It lasted fifteen minutes... Turns out books about women's rights don't belong in the fiction section.
I was in a library and a black guy came up to me.
"Where's the coloured printer?" he said.
"Mate, it's 2025, you can use any printer you want," I replied.
I went to a library and I started to make fun of a disabled guy. He started crying, and I said, "Stand up for yourself!"
What is the tallest building?
A library 馃摎
It has the most stories.
A man went into a library to get a book on how to commit suicide.
The librarian said, "No, you won't bring it back."
My dick was in the book of world records.
But then the librarian asked me to take it out.
My friend was a victim of a school shooting once, but he couldn't tell if they were in the library because of the suppressor on his AR.
What is the difference between a book and a Mexican?
One has papers.
Q: Who are the fastest readers in the world?
A: The 9/11 victims. They went through 20 stories in seconds.
Why did the rapper get kicked out of the library?
Because he was too loud with his FLOW.
Me: (pointing up in the air) "Everybody listen up, this is a robbery!"
Girl: "Dude, this is a library."
Me: "Oh." (screwing on a silencer)
I asked the librarian if they had any books on anxiety.
She replied with, "Won't you worry a lot about returning it late?"
My cock was in the book of world records...
The librarian told me to take it out.
This guy came into my library a year ago and borrowed a book named "How to Commit Suicide." He never returned it.
Why did the library book go to the doctor?
It needed to be checked out.
A man goes to the library to find the best book about committing suicide. So when he asks the librarian, "What's the best book on committing suicide?" The librarian said, "Oh, fuck off...you won't bring it back anyway."
Me: Hey, that's a really heavy bag, do you have a lot of books and magazines in there?
The Quiet Kid: Yeah, magazines.....