Library Jokes

Are you Spanish, because I will say "Hola."

Do you go to a biblioteca? Also, in Spanish, you will never guess the word "biblioteca." Find it, I dare you.

A guy entered a library and wanted to get some books to read. He was searching across the books, and the librarian asked him,

Librarian: What are you looking for?

Man: I am looking for a book!

Librarian: Which book?

Man: Facebook.

I feel bad for the kids at Sandy Hook. All they wanted was books, but got magazines instead.

My favorite thing to do in libraries is put cookbooks in the women’s sports section.

Why is it that the Libertarian Party never had a formal president of the United States that ran as a Libertarian that had a presidential library?

Because the Libertarian Party is the party of principle. The Libertarian Party was founded in 1971 and the Libertarian Party has not won a presidential election since 1972, because the Libertarian Party doesn't believe in using force to achieve political and social goals.

I asked to borrow a book from the library. It was titled "Suicide in Ten Easy Steps." The cunt just stood and said, "Cheeky bastard, you won't bring it back!"

This guy came into my library a year ago and borrowed a book named "How to Commit Suicide." He never returned it.

A man went into a library to get a book on how to commit suicide.

The librarian said, "No, you won't bring it back."

Make him read a book.

This isn't an orphan joke, but I got a job at a library, but it only lasted 15 minutes. Turns out, books about women’s rights shouldn’t go in the Sci-Fi / Fantasy section.