Library Jokes

My favorite thing to do in libraries is put cook book in the women’s sports section

I feel bad for the kids at Sandy Hook all they wanted was books but got magazines instead

I told my brother If he wanted to have a Wonderful first day of school then he should put cook book in the women’s sports section at the school library.

Why is it that the Libertarian Party never had a formal president of the united states that ran as a Libertarian that had a presidential library? Because the Libertarian Party is the party of principle, the Libertarian Party was founded in 1971 and the Libertarian Party has not won a presidential election since 1972, because the Libertarian Party doesn't believe in using force to achieved political and social goals

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This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

a man went into a libary to get a book on how to commit sucide the libarian said "no you won't bring it back

Make him read a book

this guy came into my library a year ago and borrowed a book named how to commit suicide he never returned it

Why did the clock out the library?

It tocked to much

this isnt an orphan joke but. I got a job at a library, but it only lasted 15 minutes. Turns out, books about women’s rights shouldn’t go in the Sci-Fi / Fantasy section.

why are people mad at me? all i did was the truth, and put the bible in the fiction section of the library.

i hat to run out of the libarie because i put the cook books in the women sports section

Q-Who’s the fastest readers in the world? A-the 911 victims, they when through 20 stories in seconds

my junk was in the book of world records until i got kicked out of the library

Why did the rapper get kicked out of the library?

Because he was too loud with his FLOW

There was a dino at the library today.

It was reading a thesaurus.

We the jury are yet to deliver our final verdict, but we would like to have a guess. Is it Mrs. Peacock with the candlestick in the library?

*A man walks into a library* Man: Hello ma'am, do you know where I can find a book on suicide? Librarian: Do you know about our return policy? Suicidal Man: ... Librarian: ... The Woman checking out a book: WHAT THE FUCK?