Let

Let jokes

Fart

But she hasn't tried the position with her new boyfriend, so she invites him to a romantic dinner.

After dinner, she tells her boyfriend about her desire for it, but her boyfriend was clueless about such acts, so she tells him to strip naked on the couch and lay on top of him naked in the 69 position. She starts sucking him off and starts waiting for him to do the same, but the bf didn't know what to do, so he just lay there. Suddenly, the girl had an urge to fart but held it in because her asshole was right near his bf's face. Suddenly, she loses control and lets one out. She apologizes profusely and continues sucking him. A couple of minutes later, she feels the urge again and lets another fart rip near his face. The BF throws the girl from the couch, gets up, and says, "Bitch if you think I'll be lying here for 67 more of those, you're fucking crazy."

Prey

What did the priest say when he walked into an elementary school?

Let us prey.

Rose

Roses are red, violets are blue, keep being you, let no one discourage you.

Memes

Shooter

When you are sleeping in class and the shooter sees you, then they wake you up and say, "Let’s team up," like, what the f*ck?

Threesome

Kate: Can we have a threesome?

Trevor: Sure.

The lights go off and Trevor starts doing what he's supposed to be doing, and then he feels something going up his back end. He goes to punch the person behind him, but then he turns on the light, and it was Kate behind him, and he's been fucking the guy the whole time.

ADHD

If I ever stuff up a post, please let me be. I do have ADHD, short-term memory disorder, and dyscalculia, so please remember that no one likes to be picked on for things that they can't control.

Grape

What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it?

Nothing, it just let out a little wine!

Girlfriend

It's funny dating someone smarter than you. My girlfriend knows how to push my buttons but never takes into account what a dick I can be if need be. Let me explain. Say, for example, she calls me retarded, I remind her that she's dating me.

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  • Poor

    You're so poor, even the store didn't let you buy anything free.

    Ugliness

    You're so ugly your mom and dad abandoned you, and you went to the adoption center, and not even the adoption center would take you or let you in.

    Dentist

    "I'd rather go through the pain of childbirth again than let you drill in my mouth," the woman told her dentist.

    He replied, "Well, please make up your mind so I can adjust my chair."

    Orphanage

    I walked into an orphanage and asked a kid why they were crying.

    They said: "Because I lost my parents."

    I said: "Let's find them."

    They cried harder, so I walked out of the orphanage.

    Barney

    I like you, you like me.

    Let’s go out and kill Barney with a big shot gun. Barney’s on the floor, no more purple dinosaur. 🌸🌸🌸🌺🌺🌺🥀🥀🥀RIP BARNEY

    Rifle

    Guy feels something on his back.

    “Oh God, please let that be a rifle.”

    “Nope. I’m just real happy to see you.”

    Baseball

    Why shouldn't you let a Chinese person play baseball?

    'Cause they'll eat the bat!

    Sex

    Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke weed.

    Jack and Jill got high, and Jack ripped Jill's clothes right off her. Then Jill ripped Jack's clothes off. Jack, when they were fully naked, they started to kiss, but Jack stopped. Jill said, "I know you wanna." Jack said, "No," but Jill jumped on that candy stick anyway. Jack gave in to Jill.

    Jill got off, then let Jack suck her candy stick. Jill sucked on Jack's candy stick.

    Animal

    I had an animal pun contest today. He started off by saying something. I don’t remember.

    Then I replied, “TOUCAN play that game.” He went silent, and my other friend barged in and said, “Don’t you think he’s CHICKENing out?” I said, “Yeah, just stop HORSING around!” He came back with one, and I ended it by saying, “Ok, let’s MOOOOOve on cow.”

    Welp, that’s it.