Things I would have missed if my attempt in 2018 worked...
My attempts in 2019,2020 and 2021!
You know when you sign up for something and it says *im not a robot* guess he never had the chance to tick that
Sometimes I just wake up in the morning and think damn better luck next time
(True story) Today I was bring some tortilla chips upstairs for some chips and dip, and I dropped them, so my mom goes “oh, now they’re broken.” And I took an opportunity to make a pun, so I said, “No, they’re just chipped.”
Michael proveed anything is possible in America. Where else can a poor black bo grow up to be a rich white woman?
Why did the Invisible Man turn down a job offer? He couldn’t see himself doing it.
I went on a one in a life time vacation never again
Whats the only good part of your crush dying before you have the chance to bang her?
She can't say no!
In 2006 on 6/9, there was something called communication opportunity happened. On 6/9. 69. Coincidence? I think NOT.
Why does the Jedi never join the darkside? If they did then they would lose the opportunity to molest young padawans.
GRAVEYARD SAVINGS: While leafing through our local newspaper, I noticed this classified ad: “For sale: one used tombstone. Splendid opportunity for a family named Dingle.”
So there is this button there's a 50% chance you get a million dollars there's a 50% chance that you turn into a turtle make them press the button and if they give the money you just push the orphan over take their money and run away because who they going to tell their parents.
Knock Knock.. Whos there? me
Why are orphans always so successful because when their told go big or go home they only have one option.
Gutted rn...the girl I loved hard just got in a relationship. She liked me too so I missed the chance. Idk if she still does...man...
The Drunk and a priest
On a bus, a priest sat next to a drunk who was struggling to read a newspaper.
Suddenly, with a slurred voice, the drunk asked the priest:
"Do you know what arthritis is?"
The parish priest soon thought of taking the opportunity to lecture the drunk and replied:
"It's a disease caused by sinful and unruly life: excess, consumption of alcohol, drugs, marijuana, crack, and certainly lost women, prostitutes, promiscuity, sex, binges and other things I dare not say."
The drunk widened his eyes, shut up and continued reading the newspaper.
A little later the priest, thinking that he had been too hard on the drunk, tried to soften:
"How long have you had arthritis?"
"I don't have arthritis! It says here in the paper that the Pope has it."
A kid is learning about planets in school, when he hears the planet Uranus. Knowing it's the perfect opportunity for a joke, the kid replies, "Where's my Anus?"
Why are there no women in the NFL? Commissioner Roger Goodell firmly believes in equal opportunity. So the girl tries out. Then, if she makes the team we gangbang her to death. I mean, could you imagine what a scary birch shed have to be?
I have a great job for you but you have to start it off... knock knock... Who's there? I don't know?!?!
Sultan Khan was an courtier in akbar s' court he wanted to make his son the royal treasure but his cunning plans always failed Sultan khan thought that birbal was to play his son's misfortune so he looked for a opportunity to get rid of birbal one day birbal was late to the emperor 's court seeing this angry when sultan khan said your majesty don't you think that birbal is taking his position he has been late these days this must be another plan to trap birbal said akbar So he decided to wait and see what and see what birbal would do So akbar sit next to suman khan and said yes he must be punished Suman khan was amazed to see his plan work this time From now you should not agree to anything he says today Akbar replied agreed Soon birbal came to court Please spare me from being here late my wife was unwell Akbar immediately said no Birbal was surprised He tried again by saying but that's the truth Please belive me Again akbar replied no There must be something going on thought birbal himself Then he asked can we discover important matters today Akbar immediately replied no we will not Then may I go home asked birbal Akbar said no you will stay here this evening said akbar enjoying himself Birbal understood what was happening Oh so this is my game the emperor is saying no to all my questions He saw around and saw suman khan smiling to see him in trouble This must be his idea Let me teach him a lesson The clever birbal thought to akbar Very well he said But I have a last request will you please listen to me Akbar saw what birbal had done He was very pleased and called loudly No I will not listen to you That is all birbal said before returning to his seat Suman khan was thunned and angry And birbal had outwitted him an he could not make his son the treasure
