Let jokes

I had an animal pun contest today. He started off by saying something. I don’t remember.

Then I replied, “TOUCAN play that game.” He went silent, and my other friend barged in and said, “Don’t you think he’s CHICKENing out?” I said, “Yeah, just stop HORSING around!” He came back with one, and I ended it by saying, “Ok, let’s MOOOOOve on cow.”

Welp, that’s it.

Okay, so I know this is not a joke, but I wanted to take some time to say if you have autism, you are still amazing. You are lovely in every way, and if people bully you, don't listen because they are wrong. You are cute, and I know how it feels. I have ADHD, and I get bullied a lot, but I don't let that get to me because I know what they are saying is wrong and not true. People with autism, stay strong; you got this. I will be your friend by heart, even if it's not in person.

Q. What's the difference between an abortion clinic and a nursery? A. The abortion clinic won't let you take the baby home.

They say I have a silver tongue, I'll let you make it white.

I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon....I'll let you know.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.

Jack got high and slapped his thigh and said, "You know you wanna."

Jill said yes, picked up her dress and said, "Let's have some fun!"

Silly ole Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.

Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police... Who? It's the police, let me in so I can get some donuts!

What are emos' favorite TV show theme song?

Beyblade, Beyblade, let it rip!

"Hola soy Dora, do you see Donald Trump? That’s right, he’s at my house, and he’s building a wall to separate me and Caillou. And Mami won’t let him, so she was walled alive!"

I was playing chess with my friend and he said, “Let’s make this interesting.” So I took away his towers, and he took away my queen.

New business idea: let's put a KFC in Africa and a watermelon shop.

Let's go punch some orphans, who are they gonna tell, their parents? 🤣🤣🤣

I got in trouble in school today. The teacher said, "I'm gonna call your parents!"

I said, "Let me know when you find them." <3

Thanks to the voice who keeps telling me to let go,

he is my only motivation for trying again.

What did the plane say to the twin towers?

"Lmao, you twins don't know how to play Jenga. Here, let me show you how!" (BOOM) ;)

One day, I was walking through a park when I realized it was crowded.

To this day, I still don't know who let the children out of my basement.

Lady: "Can I lick your balls?"

Me: "Ummmmm, ok?"

Lady: *grabs ball sack and licks my balls*

Me: "I'm gonna have to clean these now!"

Lady: "Let me do that."

Me: "No, thank you! I have to use these baseballs for practice!"

What did one plane say to the other? "Let's fly!"

When the emo kid says let’s play truth or dare, You know it’s about to hang over.

Mom: Let's have an adoption party!

Kid: *cries*

Mom: What's wrong?

Kid: I'M ADOPTED????