Grandpa: "You can't have phones within 15 feet of the table."
Me: "And you aren't allowed within 100 feet of the elementary school."
Women should be allowed to leave the kitchen......to clean the rest of the house
A poster for the winter relief fund reads: "No one should be allowed to go hungry or suffer from the cold." A worker says to his friend, "Now were not even allowed to do that."
What are fish not allowed to have?seaweed
Who is not allowed to watch pg movies?
Orphans
A kid named billy get his lunch money stolen at school. The bully later gets his allowance, the lunch money and his wallet taken by his father. The father then gets all the money taken from his by the bully’s grandfather along with is own wallet. The grandfather then takes the money and gets it stolen by billy along with his own wallet.
Why does a very tall man allow dwarfs to take turns to suck his balls because he is nuts about them
My mom told me it's not healthy to stay in my room all day... but the only places I'm allowed to go to are my room and downstairs.
"I know that everyone is allowed to act stupid once in a while, but you’re really abusing that privilege."
Grew up playing Fruit Ninja on my iPad. Spent time with my online sister playing multiplayer.
Now I play it in school with an awesome small steel blade.
I’m not allowed my phone during school hours and I have to give it in at the start of the day...
I’ve always been a bit insecure about having thicker thighs.
Now I realize it allows me to fit more scars!
Where are you not allowed to go trick or treating as a ghost? Harlem, New York.
Can I branch out to some tree puns. Willow you allow me it’s only fur. No? Oakome on
Women should be allowed to choose: dishes or cooking first
I think the military shouldn’t allow trans people, because all they'd do is switch sides
I may not be as "rich" as Donald Trump, but at least I am still allowed to go on holiday to Bali, Niagara Falls, Hong Kong, and the Pyramids of Giza. Orange Jesus can't travel to these places because these places cannot grant entry to felons.
...ah, who am I kidding? It's likely that Trump is going to prison, anyway.
Yo mama so hairy that when she go the hair solon they say no pets allow
By the law you are not allowed to have a sick bird. That's ill-eagle
Why do white people own a lot of pets? Because they're not allowed to own people anymore.
Why aren’t short people allowed to be mentors? Because you can’t look up to them
