Lesbian jokes

What is the difference between a lesbian and a female prostitute?

If you want a female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.

Fletcher is not a lesbian. He is also not an Asian. He is also definitely not an accident.

Why do vegans like to make their food look and taste like meat?

Same reason lesbians use strap-ons. They still like putting meat in their hole, but they don’t like where real meat comes from.

What is the female version of t-bagging? A clam slapping.

What do you call a lesbian alien? A "lesbeening."

What’s another term for a lesbian?

A vagetarian.

What do you call two lesbians in a closet?

A liquor cabinet.

If a man and a woman need a marriage license to get married, does a lesbian couple need a liquor license to get married?

Why do lesbians get their belly button pierced?

So they have a place to hang the air freshener.

What's a lesbian's favorite weapon?

A finger gun.

Man: Can you be my girlfriend?

Woman: I'm lesbian, sorry.

Man: Oh, here's your rope.

Why are lesbians so bad at math? They can't multiply.

My lesbian friends bought me a gold timepiece for my birthday.

But, I think they got confused when I said, "I wanna watch!"

What do you call a crazy lesbian?

Fruit Loops.

How do lesbians have sex? It’s too complicated. I’d have to show you.

What do you call an ex-lesbian?

A clitter quitter.

What do you call a lesbian? Me.

Why is it called scissoring and not lip-syncing?

What's a lesbian's favorite candy?

Licorice.

What do you call an Irish lesbian? A Gaelic