Lesbian jokes
My lesbian neighbors gave me a Rolex. Guess they misunderstood when I said I wanted to watch.
Do you know the number one cause of death for lesbians?
Getting your fingers stuck in there.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A lick-a-lot-of-puss.
I'm hertophobic -
aka I'm allergic to all straight guys.
Two gay guys, two lesbians, and two pedophiles have a race.
What is the order of finish?
1. Lesbians. Doing 69 the whole way.
2. Pedophiles. Coming in a little behind.
3. Gay guys. Still packing their shit.
Memes
Did you hear about the lesbian midget? She probably came out of the cabinet.
What do you call 2 lesbians in a canoe?
Fur Traders.
What do you call an Indian lesbian?
Mingeeta.
Who cooks in a lesbian relationship?
Neither one of them, they eat out.
What do you call a tent for lesbians?
Finger Hut.
If a man and a woman need a marriage license to get married, does a lesbian couple need a liquor license to get married?
Why do lesbians shop at Sports Authority? Because they don’t like dicks.
How to treat someone who’s lesbian, gay, queer, transgender or bisexual?
The same way that you would treat anybody else, you homophobic bastard.
Can two high-femme lesbians go on a date with each other?
Yes, but it will take them forever to get ready.
Did you hear about the lesbians who are suing their contractor?
He used nails when they wanted tongue and groove.
What do turtles and lesbians have in common?
They both choke on plastic.
What do lesbians do when they have a problem? They finger it out.
A new drug has been developed for lesbians with depression.
It’s called Trycoxagain.
What do lesbians and turtles have in common? They both choke on plastic.
What is the difference between a lesbian and a female prostitute?
If you want a female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.