Lesbian jokes
Do you know the number one cause of death for lesbians?
Getting your fingers stuck in there.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A lick-a-lot-of-puss.
I'm hertophobic -
aka I'm allergic to all straight guys.
Two gay guys, two lesbians, and two pedophiles have a race.
What is the order of finish?
1. Lesbians. Doing 69 the whole way.
2. Pedophiles. Coming in a little behind.
3. Gay guys. Still packing their shit.
Did you hear about the lesbian midget? She probably came out of the cabinet.
What do lesbians cook for dinner?
They don't, they just eat out.
What do you call an Indian lesbian?
Mingeeta.
What do you call 2 lesbians in a canoe?
Fur Traders.
Who cooks in a lesbian relationship?
Neither one of them, they eat out.
What do you call a tent for lesbians?
Finger Hut.
Why do lesbians shop at Sports Authority? Because they don’t like dicks.
My lesbian friends bought me a gold timepiece for my birthday.
But, I think they got confused when I said, "I wanna watch!"
How to treat someone who’s lesbian, gay, queer, transgender or bisexual?
The same way that you would treat anybody else, you homophobic bastard.
Can two high-femme lesbians go on a date with each other?
Yes, but it will take them forever to get ready.
Did you hear about the lesbians who are suing their contractor?
He used nails when they wanted tongue and groove.
What do turtles and lesbians have in common?
They both choke on plastic.
What do lesbians do when they have a problem? They finger it out.
What do lesbians and turtles have in common? They both choke on plastic.
My lesbian neighbors gave me a Rolex. Guess they misunderstood when I said I wanted to watch.
A new drug has been developed for lesbians with depression.
It’s called Trycoxagain.