Lesbian jokes
What do you call a lesbian with braces? A box cutter.
What do lesbians cook for dinner?
They don't, they just eat out.
How to treat someone who’s lesbian, gay, queer, transgender or bisexual?
The same way that you would treat anybody else, you homophobic bastard.
Do you know the number one cause of death for lesbians?
Getting your fingers stuck in there.
What do lesbians do while having their period?
They finger paint.
Can two high-femme lesbians go on a date with each other?
Yes, but it will take them forever to get ready.
Who cooks in a lesbian relationship?
Neither one of them, they eat out.
What do you call an Indian lesbian?
Mingeeta.
What do you call 2 lesbians in a canoe?
Fur Traders.
What do you call a tent for lesbians?
Finger Hut.
Why do lesbians shop at Sports Authority? Because they don’t like dicks.
If a man and a woman need a marriage license to get married, does a lesbian couple need a liquor license to get married?
Did you hear about the lesbians who are suing their contractor?
He used nails when they wanted tongue and groove.
What do turtles and lesbians have in common?
They both choke on plastic.
My lesbian neighbors gave me a Rolex. Guess they misunderstood when I said I wanted to watch.
What do you call a lesbian? Me.
Fletcher is not a lesbian. He is also not an Asian. He is also definitely not an accident.
What do you call a lesbian alien? A "lesbeening."
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A lick-a-lot-of-puss!
I told my mom that I have a crush. She replied with: "So you like girls?" I said: "Uhm no no no." BUT I'm lesbian. Someone help, how do I tell her without her hitting me with a belt?