Lesbian jokes
My lesbian neighbors gave me a Rolex. Guess they misunderstood when I said I wanted to watch.
Do you know the number one cause of death for lesbians?
Getting your fingers stuck in there.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A lick-a-lot-of-puss.
I'm hertophobic -
aka I'm allergic to all straight guys.
Two gay guys, two lesbians, and two pedophiles have a race.
What is the order of finish?
1. Lesbians. Doing 69 the whole way.
2. Pedophiles. Coming in a little behind.
3. Gay guys. Still packing their shit.
Did you hear about the lesbian midget? She probably came out of the cabinet.
What do lesbians cook for dinner?
They don't, they just eat out.
Who cooks in a lesbian relationship?
Neither one of them, they eat out.
What do you call 2 lesbians in a canoe?
Fur Traders.
What do you call an Indian lesbian?
Mingeeta.
What do you call a tent for lesbians?
Finger Hut.
Why do lesbians shop at Sports Authority? Because they don’t like dicks.
How to treat someone who’s lesbian, gay, queer, transgender or bisexual?
The same way that you would treat anybody else, you homophobic bastard.
Did you hear about the lesbians who are suing their contractor?
He used nails when they wanted tongue and groove.
Can two high-femme lesbians go on a date with each other?
Yes, but it will take them forever to get ready.
What do turtles and lesbians have in common?
They both choke on plastic.
What do lesbians do when they have a problem? They finger it out.
A new drug has been developed for lesbians with depression.
It’s called Trycoxagain.
What do lesbians and turtles have in common? They both choke on plastic.
What do you call lesbian sex during their period?
A blood transfusion.