Lesbian jokes
Do you know the number one cause of death for lesbians?
Getting your fingers stuck in there.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A lick-a-lot-of-puss.
Two gay guys, two lesbians, and two pedophiles have a race.
What is the order of finish?
1. Lesbians. Doing 69 the whole way.
2. Pedophiles. Coming in a little behind.
3. Gay guys. Still packing their shit.
What do lesbians cook for dinner?
They don't, they just eat out.
Did you hear about the exciting new drug they developed for lesbians with depression? They call it: TRICOXAGIN.
What do lesbians do while having their period?
They finger paint.
Who cooks in a lesbian relationship?
Neither one of them, they eat out.
What do you call an Indian lesbian?
Mingeeta.
How to treat someone who’s lesbian, gay, queer, transgender or bisexual?
The same way that you would treat anybody else, you homophobic bastard.
What do you call a tent for lesbians?
Finger Hut.
Why do lesbians shop at Sports Authority? Because they don’t like dicks.
Why is it called scissoring and not lip-syncing?
Did you hear about the lesbians who are suing their contractor?
He used nails when they wanted tongue and groove.
Can two high-femme lesbians go on a date with each other?
Yes, but it will take them forever to get ready.
What do turtles and lesbians have in common?
They both choke on plastic.
What do you call 2 lesbians in a canoe?
Fur Traders.
What do lesbians do when they have a problem? They finger it out.
What do lesbians and turtles have in common? They both choke on plastic.
What do you call a lesbian with fat fingers? Well hung.
A new drug has been developed for lesbians with depression.
It’s called Trycoxagain.