Law jokes
How do you get away with rape and incest in California?
Say you identify as a woman. Fact: It's actually legal to rape your daughter if you are a woman in California.
Yo mama so fat, she got arrested for carrying 100 pounds of crack.
What's the difference between an emo and a prisoner?
The prisoner is wanted!
Did you hear about the bank robber?
Turns out he got shot by the police.
And he wound up in prison.
Q: What’s a good thing about child molesters?
A: They drive slow through school zones.
What do you call a snobbish criminal going down the stairs?
A condescending con descending.
Why did orphans have to drink their own piss?
Because last time they went to the bar, they went with their dad and drank some Corona, then got drunk and started eating someone's toenails, so his dad went to go get the milk and everybody had to evacuate the bar. Then the orphan started walking on his teeth and got listed for the top ten wanted animals in the world, so then he felt wanted and went to go home and had nobody to go to, so he found the beer bottle he drunk out of and started pissing in it so he wouldn't die and loved it. So then someone saw him in the bushes pissing in a beer bottle then drinking, so the person who saw him started recording and posted it on YouTube, and the boy became famous, so now he can feel like he was wanted in life after daddy went to go get the milk, then the little boy became really rich.
If you kill a killer, the same amount of killers in the room stays the same.
Ever wondered why Usain Bolt runs fast? He's training to outrun the cops.
It's okay, you had socks on :)
Why does the Please Touch Museum sound like "police touch museum?"
Because they gotta watch out for the pedos.
Did you hear about the two guys who stole a calendar?
No?
They both got six months.
Me: Ok so let's get this straight....
Cop: I'm not straight ok, now get in the car.
Me: But I didn't do anything?
Cop: No.
Me: So why are you arresting me then?
Cop: Imma tell you a story.
Me: Oh no.......
Cop: I know, now come on.
Me: Ok where?
Cop: My room.
Me: Which room?
Cop: My bedroom.
Me: 😱I'm a girl.
Cop: So am I, now get in.
Me: But I'm 9.
Cop: I'm 59.
What's the good thing about child perverts?
They drive slow in a school zone.
Why can't Michael Jackson play baseball?
He made a hit and run!
When you see your friend, you call the police, but they just moan.
What’s the difference between a child and someone who has been kidnapped?
One of them is a domesticated pet.
Some guy was mad at his ex-wife! So he threw a bottle of alcohol into her house when he was drunk.
And realized when he was being questioned for arson, his cigarette was in the rim of the bottle.
Plz look up rainbow kiss - Bill Cosby.
Win a free ride in a police car! Just pick up a knife and use it!