Law jokes
When cops say you have the right to remain silent,
You're just happy you have the right to do something.
Weed: *gets hit by his own power*
Cop: Wait, shouldn’t you be resistant to your own element?
Weed: Are you resistant to bullets when you shoot a gun?
Why do orphans have criminal records?
So they can be wanted.
The penalty for a homeless person being caught stealing bread is an expensive, luxurious prison cell, which is located indoors and comes with free bread and water.
Aren't our governments wizards? Scrooge would be proud.
A police officer pulls a man over. "Hands in the air!"
The man said, "Okay."
One day an orphan went to jail, and a big dude went behind him and said, "I want you." The orphan said, "Finally!"
What's the difference between a glass of chocolate milk and a toddler?
The thing is, I wasn't arrested for throwing a glass of chocolate milk against the wall.
Why do orphans like pedos? Because it's someone that loves them and they can call "daddy."
Why can't antelopes get married?
Because they can't elope.
What's young, red, and has hot PTSD?
Prince Andrew's victims.
I accidentally hit an orphan with my car, but I was not worried because he couldn’t tell his parents.
What is Johnny Depp's new legal name?
Johnny in debt.
Solicitors are more likely to harass someone with a “no soliciting” sign on their front porch.
I always loved going to Bill Cosby's house; he always greeted me when I woke up with "Rapey-rapey, eggs and bakey."
A cop pulls over a carload of nuns.
The cop says, "Sister, this is a 55 MPH highway. Why are you going so slow?"
The Sister replies, "Sir, I saw a lot of signs that said 41, not 55."
The cop answers, "Oh, Sister, that's not the speed limit, that's the name of the highway you are on!"
The Sister says, "Oh! Silly me! Thanks for letting me know. I'll be more careful."
At this point, the cop looks in the backseat where the other nuns are shaking and trembling. The cop asks, "Excuse me, Sister, what's wrong with your friends back there? They are shaking something terrible."
The Sister answers, "We just got off Highway 101."
Why did the robber take a shower before his robbery?
So he could make a clean getaway!
Do orphans love doing crime?
'Cause they want to be wanted.
Punch an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
If you kill a killer, the same amount of killers in the room stays the same.
Why does the Please Touch Museum sound like "police touch museum?"
Because they gotta watch out for the pedos.