Law jokes
A man walks into a bar. He sees a family court judge, his wife, her lawyer, and a police officer. He gets on his hands and knees and prays to God out loud. The bartender says, "Why are you praying?" He says, "Because I just saw the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse, and the bible tells me when I see them the end is at hand."
I watched an episode of Law & Order Special Victims Unit. It turns out it's about rape. I thought it was going to be about crimes on a short bus or something.
What is the difference between a human and the human rights act, a tree house, and a human being?
What's America's best class?
Gun 101.
Why couldn’t the underage orphan get on an adult-only website? Because you need your parents' consent.
Why can’t orphans get married in Alabama?
Because they don’t have a sister.
You can't put an orphan on house arrest if there isn't a house to arrest them to.
Punch an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Me: If my face looked like yours, I would sue my parents.
Sensei: That’s funny, because when your parents dropped you off at the temple, they got a fine for littering.
Cop: Hehe, that’s funny because I gave them the fine!
Why did the robber take a shower before his robbery?
So he could make a clean getaway!
Why did the picture go to jail?
Cause it was framed!
What is the difference between human rights and the rights of a human being in?
Why can’t orphans order from Costa?
They need a parent or guardian with them.
If you ever think no one cares about you,
kill someone, then the news will.
Why was the duck arrested?
Because it was caught selling quack.
What's young, red, and has hot PTSD?
Prince Andrew's victims.
What similarities do peeping Toms and spies share?
They both see things they shouldn't.
What do a 14-year-old pregnant girl and the child inside her have in common?
Both are thinking, “Oh no! My mom’s gonna kill me!”
Last time I got caught stealing a calendar, I got 12 months.
Friend: Hey, did you catch that game last night? I did, it was so good! After that I went to Kane’s, because Kane's is amazing! What did you do this weekend? I did-
Me: Dude, are you the Terms and Conditions? Because I don’t give a fuck about what you say.