Why did the pedophile cross the road?
To get to the other preschool.
In Israel, they chop convicted rapists' balls off. Sure glad I don't live in Israel.
A new game the whole family can play...
Incest.
Why can't Michael Jackson go within 500 meters of a school?
Because he's dead.
A cop pulls a guy over for suspected drunk driving. The cop opens the door and the driver falls out onto the asphalt. The cop says, "Holy shit, you're so drunk, you can't even walk!"
The drunk says, "No shit, that's why I took my car!"
My brother is ugly. One time he stuck his head out the window. The police arrested for mooning.
Dr. Fauci would be surprised to know that R. Kelly didn't catch COVID-19.
But since COVID is 19, it's too old for him.
I groomed 2 minors today.
What's a pedophile's favorite cooking ingredient?...... Fresh meat.
Did you know cannibals ate KFC?
Kentucky Fried Children.
I got arrested on suspicion of attempted rape all because I was carrying some cable ties, a bit of tape and a piece of cloth. It's such a joke, I hadn't even bought the chloroform yet.
What's the difference between Johnny Depp and Eminem? Eminem was never proven to beat his wife in court, but Johnny Depp was.
My dad has the heart of a soldier, and a restraining order from the soldier's family.
What do you call a psychic midget in trouble with the law?
A small medium at large.
Why do orphans become criminals? Because they want to know what it's like to be wanted.
How do you verify a rape claim? You make it true, and then the person is a victim for sure.
Dad: "Son, does mommy like having lady-friends over?"
Son: "Nah, mostly men."
Dad: "Do you think you'd be comfortable telling that to a judge in court?"
Q: How do you know a wishing well works?
A: If your mother-in-law falls down it.
What's the difference between an escaped prisoner and an orphan?
Only one is wanted.
Why do orphans wanna be a criminal?
So that they can be wanted.
