Law

Law jokes

Police

  • I recently got pulled over by the cops and started spazzing out because of the police lights.

    He arrested me for impersonating George Floyd.

    *I have seizures*

  • 1
  • Santa

  • Santa decided coal was too expensive, so he started putting shredded lettuce and mayo in naughty kid's lockers... he calls it the coal's law.

  • 0
  • Case

  • What does a lawyer defending a killer and a password have in common? They're case sensitive.

  • 0
  • Dog

  • A man was about to go into the bar with his dog when he realized the sign said, “No pets allowed!” He was about to walk away when another guy walked up with his dog. The 2nd man put on dark shades and said, “Just pretend you're blind!” He walked in with his dog, got a drink, then left.

    The 1st man did the same thing, but when he walked in, the bartender said, “You know your ‘guide dog’ is a chihuahua, right?”

    The man said, “They gave me a damn Chihuahua?!”

  • 3
  • Shooter

  • The school shooter when the cops show up be like:

    "Ain't nothing gonna break my stride, ain't nothing gonna hold me down. Oh oh. I've got to keep on moving."

    Cop

  • Q: How many cops does it take to put in a light bulb? A: None, they just beat the room for being black. 😂😂😂

  • 2
  • Police

  • What happened to the police that crossed the road?

    They solved a murder involving the nut case.

    Incest

  • My Dad pays a lot of attention to our household and has always had a good eye for detail. He was the one that first noticed that my mother and I have the same ring size.

  • 2
  • Bomb

  • I wanted to bomb a restaurant, so I went in there with a bomb, but the bomb got diffused and did not work.

    I asked a person standing nearby. I said, "Hey, do you know how to fix this bomb so I can blow up this place?"

    He gave me a book.

    It was the Quran.

    I said, "What the hell is that?"

    He said, "This is the official manual for bomb making."

  • 1