Law jokes
I just got a job at the prison library.
It has its prose and cons.
Where do rape victims buy their clothes from?
The kids section.
At the age of 100, you get a letter from the Queen. At 12, you get a DM from Prince Charles.
You're so ugly, when your mom dropped you off at school, she got a fine for littering.
I don't like the term "kidnapping." I prefer "surprise adoption."
What's the difference between a yellow line and a baby?
You can't run over a yellow line.
What's the number 1 cause of pedophilia?
Sexy kids.
Oh, sh**! I'm late for my interview! Do you know where the nearest sex offender registry is?
EatDatPussy445, aka Deyione Scott-Wilson Eason, aka Bryant Turman Emerson Moreland, is a pedophile, and he is in Las Vegas right now. Go, go, go, catch him!
What's black and white and red all over?
A police brutality case.
How can you make a woman scream your name when you have sex with her?
Change your name to "Rape."
"Yes, officer! It was a requirement to run over that child. It matched perfectly with the beat drop!"
The interviewer asked me if I had a criminal record when I was requesting Australian citizenship.
I replied, "No. Is that still required?"
What’s a priest's favorite sport?
Golf, because most of the holes are less than 18.
Santa decided coal was too expensive, so he started putting shredded lettuce and mayo in naughty kid's lockers... he calls it the coal's law.
Two guys in a car get pulled over by a cop. The cop taps the window, and the window rolls down. "Good evening, gentlemen, we're looking for two pedophiles."
The guy quickly closes the window. Ten seconds later, he lowers it again and says, "Ok, we'll do it."
I taped a picture of Bill Cosby to my gun. Now it’s an assault rifle.
What’s worse than finger banging your sister?
Finding your dad’s wedding ring.
Why do white people own a lot of pets?
Because they're not allowed to own people anymore.
What's the difference between Pink Floyd and George Floyd?
When Pink Floyd can't breathe, it's because all their fans are smoking pot.