Law jokes

My dad has the heart of a lion, and a lifetime ban from the zoo.

At the age of 100, you get a letter from the Queen. At 12, you get a DM from Prince Charles.

What's the number 1 cause of pedophilia?

Sexy kids.

Oh, sh**! I'm late for my interview! Do you know where the nearest sex offender registry is?

EatDatPussy445, aka Deyione Scott-Wilson Eason, aka Bryant Turman Emerson Moreland, is a pedophile, and he is in Las Vegas right now. Go, go, go, catch him!

What's black and white and red all over?

A police brutality case.

How can you make a woman scream your name when you have sex with her?

Change your name to "Rape."

"Yes, officer! It was a requirement to run over that child. It matched perfectly with the beat drop!"

I am crying tears of joy rn. I was wrongfully sentenced to death. They took me to prison to wait for my execution, but when I got there, they said that I was free. I asked them why and they told me that a man named Penaldo had taken my death penalty for me. Thank you, Penaldo!

The interviewer asked me if I had a criminal record when I was requesting Australian citizenship.

I replied, "No. Is that still required?"

If a pregnant emo kills herself, is that murder-suicide or just abortion?

Two guys in a car get pulled over by a cop. The cop taps the window, and the window rolls down. "Good evening, gentlemen, we're looking for two pedophiles."

The guy quickly closes the window. Ten seconds later, he lowers it again and says, "Ok, we'll do it."

"Stupidity isn’t a crime, so you’re free to go."

I figure it's ok to hit orphans.

What are they gonna do? Go tell their parents?

Being a hooker shouldn't be illegal.

It's like having an Airbnb for your dick.

Me going to jail for telling the orphan he has 363 days because mothers and Father’s Day.

So I told the officer, "I can't even walk when I'm sober."

What is illegal in Africa? Water guns.

Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.

Man: *steals drink*

Boy: bro😭😭

Man: Why are u crying over a drink?

Boy: That had drugs.

Man: ....