Law jokes
The devil's number is 346 because you will be in jail.
A young 38 year old happy Muslim migrant living in Sydney wants to wed a beautiful young bride. He asks the local Aussie the minimum age to wed his yet unchosen bride. "Eighteen," the Aussie says, sipping a beer. "She has to be Eighteen."
Okay, the Muslim man sighed, with disappointment and walks off. Next day he arrives with a 13 year old girl.
"Wtf are you doing?" Aussie says?
"You say this is okay," Muslim replied. "Fuck no, she must be at least Eighteen you sick bastard," says Aussie, flicking away his Winnie Blue cigarette. Muslim man leaves angrily.
Next day Happy Muslim settles on a 14 year old girl from Punchbowl to be his bride. Aussies jaw drops, "What is wrong with you mate?" asks Aussie.
Muslim man replies "You tell me to choose 'a teen', 'a teen', I chose a teen and now you come for my third and now fourth choice. Fuck you!"
Aussie: "Eighteen not 'a teen' you sick mongrel."
My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. I personally am on the fence.
A police officer said to a belly button, "You're under a-vest."
What’s worse than banging your sister?
Having to wear your dad’s wedding ring.
Banker: I have the right to take your money!
Me: Check my name.
Banker: Robin D. Bank, why?
Banker: *realizes*
Me: 😈🖐️ Gimme, gimme.
Came across the headline this morning whilst reading the paper...
"Woman beats off Rapist in carpark!"
I suppose that was a fair compromise!
If there are 4 Mexicans in a van, which of them is driving?
None of them. Immigration service is.
The doctor gave his patient 1 day of life, so he shot him. Then the judge gave him 15 years, so there you go, problem solved.
Islamic pubs and bars are the worst.
You can't drink alcohol or dance.
Women can get stoned though, no questions asked.
What do you get when you cross a pedophile and an elementary school? Predator 3.
"Stupidity isn’t a crime, so you’re free to go."
When I was a little boy, I had this dream. I was eating a giant marshmallow.
When I woke, I was being sexually abused.
You can hit an orphan, because who are they gonna tell? Their parents?
What did the robber say to the clock?
Hands up!
I taped a picture of Bill Cosby to my gun. Now it’s an assault rifle.
Why are there adoption centers? Because it's a market for pedophiles.
What did the officer tell the lioness after she said she was a dog?
Oooooooooh girl, you lion!
Why do most orphans rob banks?
Because they just want to feel wanted.
Yo mama so fat, she got arrested for carrying 100 pounds of crack.