Law jokes
I am crying tears of joy rn. I was wrongfully sentenced to death. They took me to prison to wait for my execution, but when I got there, they said that I was free. I asked them why and they told me that a man named Penaldo had taken my death penalty for me. Thank you, Penaldo!
"Yes, officer! It was a requirement to run over that child. It matched perfectly with the beat drop!"
Today I put the womenβs rights book in the fantasy section of a library.
9 year olds can consent. Thatβs like 18 divided by 2.
Kid: *runs down the street* HELP ME!
Officer: You OK, kid?
Me: Don't worry! He's my nephew, there was a big spider.
Officer: Oh, OK, ma'am. *walks off*
When officer leaves:
Me: *gets whip* What did I say about leaving the basement?
Memes
If her age is on the clock, she can sit on my cock.
What did Joe Biden say when he got pulled over?
I'm just a-Biden the law, officer.
What do you call a party planned by Bill Cosby and Jeffrey Epstein?
A high school pill party.
Whatβs the difference between a child and someone who has been kidnapped?
One of them is a domesticated pet.
Why do orphans commit crimes?
To be wanted.
Why do orphans hate Ted Bundy? Cause he's the most wanted.
A man robs a bank and asks a woman, "Did you see that?"
She says, "Yes." So the man shoots her.
He leaves the bank and sees a couple. He asks, "Did you see that?" The husband said, "No, but my wife did!"
The real dead hooker joke is on all of us from the Fraser Valley in BC. You know damn well each and everyone of us ate that Pickton hooker pork. Considering it stretching from the 80's-2000's, pretty sure he got 4 generations of Valley folk with that Pickton pork.
What is the difference between orphans and serial killers?
Serial killers are wanted.
Why are half the orphans missing? Because I took them, of course! :]
What happens when a battery commits a crime? They get charged!
Why do orphans play GTA? Because they canβt be wanted.
Did you hear about the two thieves who stole a calendar? They each got six months.
If youβre bored, go punch an orphan. What are the parents gonna do?
I learned my dad got into a car crash this morning.
And my driver's license got revoked too.