Law jokes
Why did the wall fall over?
A drunk driver hit it going 90mph and died.
What happens to an orphan that gets on house arrest?
They get set free.
If you are a student at law school, a law professor can charge you up to $98,998.00 for one semester.
If the law professor is very late and is not punctual to teach you anything about law in his class, should a law student be able to charge the law professor a certain amount of money for not being able to teach his class because he is off task and not being punctual? Is your time precious too?
If the law professor is Polish, now you know the reason why you should never go to a law school that has a "dumb polack" for a law professor.
Sorry for your luck; it sucks to be you!
A man gets arrested after writing "MORBID JOKES COMING OUT THIS TIME NEXT YEAR!" and "I'm gay!"
Unbelievable! When doctors touch my body, it’s alright, but if I do the same to some lady, apparently it’s "harassment!"
A fat man was checking his weight and sucking in his fat belly. A physicist saw it and said that's not how the law of conservation of mass works.
Plot twist: The fat man jumped on the physicist and proved him wrong. Now the physicist doesn't have mass.
What's the difference between a tornado and a divorce down south?
Nothing. Someone's losing a trailer.
Judge to the defendant: "Defendant, do you have a criminal record?"
"No."
"Have you always been honest?"
"No, never been caught!"
What does a kite and a criminal have in common?
They both get high.
Guess what my plans are for the weekend? Suing the NYCDOE for blocking (probably) WEBTOONS.com.
How do you stop a terrorist from drowning?
Take your foot off his head.
Why did an orphan rob a bank?
To be wanted.
What's a convict's favorite song?
"I want to break free."
If a person kills their counselor, does that mean that they don't need therapy anymore?
What do you get when you cross a corrupt lawyer with a crooked politician?
Chelsea Clinton.
So Johnny Depp made an appearance on the MTV Video Music Awards as an astronaut. It really looks like he wants to be the new Elon Musk, whatever career path is most viable for Depp. I got to admit, if launching crystal meth into your nostrils and your anus is as viable as launching rockets to Mars, Johnny Depp would surpass Elon Musk in net worth.
Then again, the money Depp spends on alcohol each month, he could have bought all of Michael Bloomberg's penthouses in Manhattan. Sure sounds like he also shares the same financial advisor as Donald Trump, who thought it was a magnificent idea to launch Trump Airlines and Trump Ice. He already shares the same pro-Kremlin lawyer, by the way.
KK or Liv?
There's nothing I like more than seeing a politician in a nice suit.
An orange jumpsuit that is :)
How did the man in prison escape?
He drew a bum on the wall and slid through the crack.
Why did the duck get arrested? For selling quack.