Law jokes
Why did the orphan commit mass murder?
To be on top of the wanted list.
"Don’t be dumb, make sure she’s numb."
- Bill Cosby
A lot of people claim that white privilege does not exist. Well, how the hell do you explain Michael Jackson not being charged for raping children, despite ample evidence?
Why was the guitar teacher arrested?
For fingering a minor.
A prisoner was told how he'll be executed. Needless to say, he was shocked.
What’s the hardest thing about being a rapist? Fitting in.
Woman one: "I got so mad at my GPS today that I told it to go to hell!"
Woman two: "Did that work?"
Woman one: "Well, it took me to my in-laws’ house."
A boy is about to be sentenced for killing his parents. He begs the judge to spare his life. The judge asks for one good reason he should be shown any mercy. The boy replies, "I’m an orphan, your honor."
If you get pinched by a man in a wheelchair, can you call it a "hit and can't run?"
A little boy decided to burn a house down. The father put his arm around his wife, tears in his eyes, saying, "That's arson."
As a 13 year old, online dating is a tough thing.
Every time I meet someone new, they end up in jail.
Why are Republicans supporting giving felons the right to vote?
Because their own personal jeebus is a felon!
I saw a sign the other day that said "Maximum penalty for smoking is £1,000."
But that's not right. Surely the maximum penalty for smoking is Death.
What was the pedophile charged with when he was arrested? A minor offense.
The only reason why Murrikkkunts think Canada isn't free is because incest is illegal in Canada, in which one can face a sentence as long as 14 years in prison if convicted.
Kelly Clarkson and Ian Watkins of the Lostprophets both walk into a bar. The bartender asked, "Hitting on some 2-year-olds today?" It may have been an innocuous question, if it weren't for the fact that the bartender is Chris Hansen.
They should add an eleventh commandment to the Bible:
Thou shalt not f... altar boys.
Sign on my attorney's office wall: "You can't have manslaughter without laughter."
Technically, suicide is murder, and murder is illegal, so if I kill myself, my body should go to jail.
Why do lawyers use Viagra? To grow taller.