A prisoner was told how he'll be executed. Needless to say, he was shocked.
A lot of people claim that white privilege does not exist. Well, how the hell do you explain Michael Jackson not being charged for raping children, despite ample evidence?
Woman one: "I got so mad at my GPS today that I told it to go to hell!"
Woman two: "Did that work?"
Woman one: "Well, it took me to my in-laws’ house."
Why are Republicans supporting giving felons the right to vote?
Because their own personal jeebus is a felon!
What’s the hardest thing about being a rapist? Fitting in.
Why did the picture go to jail?
Cause it was framed!
A boy is about to be sentenced for killing his parents. He begs the judge to spare his life. The judge asks for one good reason he should be shown any mercy. The boy replies, "I’m an orphan, your honor."
As a 13 year old, online dating is a tough thing.
Every time I meet someone new, they end up in jail.
The only reason why Murrikkkunts think Canada isn't free is because incest is illegal in Canada, in which one can face a sentence as long as 14 years in prison if convicted.
I saw a sign the other day that said "Maximum penalty for smoking is £1,000."
But that's not right. Surely the maximum penalty for smoking is Death.
If you get pinched by a man in a wheelchair, can you call it a "hit and can't run?"
A little boy decided to burn a house down. The father put his arm around his wife, tears in his eyes, saying, "That's arson."
They should add an eleventh commandment to the Bible:
Thou shalt not f... altar boys.
Kelly Clarkson and Ian Watkins of the Lostprophets both walk into a bar. The bartender asked, "Hitting on some 2-year-olds today?" It may have been an innocuous question, if it weren't for the fact that the bartender is Chris Hansen.
Technically, suicide is murder, and murder is illegal, so if I kill myself, my body should go to jail.
Say what you want against pedophiles, but they slow down in school zones.
What was the pedophile charged with when he was arrested? A minor offense.
Why do lawyers use Viagra? To grow taller.
What’s the difference between criminals and orphans?
Only one is wanted.
I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium and you’re being a respectful friend.
But do it at home and you’re destroying evidence.
