Law jokes
A man walks into a bar... Oww!
If a pregnant emo kills herself, is it murder-suicide?
Me and my friends jumped some orphans. Who will they tell? Their parents?
Don’t be racist. Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.
Two whores are watching the sun come up, splitting a bottle of Mad Dog and celebrating another night of servicing the general public. One asks the other: "Say. You ever been picked up by the fuzz?"
Her friend thinks it over, "No...but I have been swung around by the tits a few times!"
Memes
I'm required by law to tell you I am a registered sex offender.
People should've recognized that Jared Fogle was a sick offender by one coded Subway sandwich; he normally claimed to kids he ate the sweet onion chicken teriyaki when it was the tuna sub.
Tuna sub was the message of the target to the kid since "tuna sub" put together makes "tunasub" and the truth comes when you spell it in reverse ("busanut")!
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, because they beat the room for being dark, then arrest the room for being broke.
I drove through a school zone and found out you can drag a speed bump 😬.
What does an armed bank robbery and Michael Jackson have in common?
Someone gets hurt.
Hey, 2nd Amendmenters! Wanna know what gun Jesus used during his time?
What?
A nail gun!
My mom always said garlic powder makes everything better, so I sprinkled some on my divorce papers and my wife's broken leg.
Why can't orphans be criminals?
Because they're not wanted.
Have you ever thought about the fact that every market in Africa is a black market?
It's not incest if you're adopted.
Why should you abuse the hell out of an orphan? Because what are they gonna do? Tell their mom or dad?
Person 1: How many people has Michael Jackson fingered?
Person 2: Dunno, what’s the minor population?
Pro tip kids, you CAN hit an orphan because they can't cry to their parents!
People were deciding how to punish a terrible criminal, and one man came up with a great idea.
He sat him in a movie theater with no food at all and made him watch a 12 hour documentary about the country Hungary.
Why is it ok to punch an orphan?
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?