Law jokes
Two whores are watching the sun come up, splitting a bottle of Mad Dog and celebrating another night of servicing the general public. One asks the other: "Say. You ever been picked up by the fuzz?"
Her friend thinks it over, "No...but I have been swung around by the tits a few times!"
I'm required by law to tell you I am a registered sex offender.
People should've recognized that Jared Fogle was a sick offender by one coded Subway sandwich; he normally claimed to kids he ate the sweet onion chicken teriyaki when it was the tuna sub.
Tuna sub was the message of the target to the kid since "tuna sub" put together makes "tunasub" and the truth comes when you spell it in reverse ("busanut")!
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, because they beat the room for being dark, then arrest the room for being broke.
Why did the orphan rob a bank?
To be wanted.
Why did the orphan rob the bank?
Because he/she wanted to be wanted!
If there are 4 Mexicans in a van, which of them is driving?
None of them. Immigration service is.
People were deciding how to punish a terrible criminal, and one man came up with a great idea.
He sat him in a movie theater with no food at all and made him watch a 12 hour documentary about the country Hungary.
What does an armed bank robbery and Michael Jackson have in common?
Someone gets hurt.
Person 1: How many people has Michael Jackson fingered?
Person 2: Dunno, what’s the minor population?
Why is it ok to punch an orphan?
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Why should you abuse the hell out of an orphan? Because what are they gonna do? Tell their mom or dad?
Pro tip kids, you CAN hit an orphan because they can't cry to their parents!
What's the difference between an orphan and a criminal?
The criminal is wanted.
When you step on the scales, it says "to be confined."
How do people grade pedophiles?
1st grade to 8th grade.
(I know it's orphan jokes but still)
Why do orphans commit crimes?
It’s the only time they’re ever wanted.
What is a pedophile’s favorite part about Halloween?
Free delivery.
Why do orphans become criminals when they grow up? Because they want to be wanted.
I say, punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?