Law jokes
Yo mama's so ugly, she looked out the window and was arrested for mooning.
The judge asked Bill Cosby for his defense. He used feminist talking points and said "My body, my choice" and "It's my right to privacy." The judge, being impartial, let Cosby go.
Why do orphans want to be criminals? Because they want to feel what it’s like to be wanted.
Please help, my dad is an addict. He won't stop, and he eats my food.
Sometimes I think, should I kill him? But nah, he will go down with the others who did that too.
What is the difference between orphans and serial killers?
Serial killers are wanted.
The time when Michael Jackson came in his pajamas during the trial. Whether or not it was because he saw a 7-year-old boy has yet to be determined.
Hit 'em with the 1, 2, Jeffery Dahmer!
How do you get away with rape and incest in California?
Say you identify as a woman. Fact: It's actually legal to rape your daughter if you are a woman in California.
What did the pedophile say to the kids?
"FUCK!"
If someone made a comedy routine about Terri Schiavo, would that be considered roasting a vegetable?
So I told the officer, "I can't even walk when I'm sober."
What happens when you throw an underage boy between two Catholic priests?
They fight and... You know the rest.
What’s the difference between outlaws and orphans?
At least outlaws are wanted.
Why did the orphan rob the bank? Because he wanted to know what it felt like to be wanted.
Why did Michael Jackson go to jail? He was feeling a little Randy.
Good Lord, any tips on how to kidnap children? I say, "Free candy," and they run.
I got arrested on suspicion of attempted rape all because I was carrying some cable ties, a bit of tape and a piece of cloth. It's such a joke, I hadn't even bought the chloroform yet.
Your mother is so fast, she got arrested for carrying 10 pounds of crack.
Why does an orphan wanna be a criminal?
Because they wanna be wanted.
Why do my parents not love me? Because I've fucked 12 dogs and 7 minors while they were watching!