Law jokes
Two whores are watching the sun come up, splitting a bottle of Mad Dog and celebrating another night of servicing the general public. One asks the other: "Say. You ever been picked up by the fuzz?"
Her friend thinks it over, "No...but I have been swung around by the tits a few times!"
I'm required by law to tell you I am a registered sex offender.
People should've recognized that Jared Fogle was a sick offender by one coded Subway sandwich; he normally claimed to kids he ate the sweet onion chicken teriyaki when it was the tuna sub.
Tuna sub was the message of the target to the kid since "tuna sub" put together makes "tunasub" and the truth comes when you spell it in reverse ("busanut")!
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, because they beat the room for being dark, then arrest the room for being broke.
How do people grade pedophiles?
1st grade to 8th grade.
(I know it's orphan jokes but still)
Memes
It's not incest if you're adopted.
I drove through a school zone and found out you can drag a speed bump 😬.
My mom always said garlic powder makes everything better, so I sprinkled some on my divorce papers and my wife's broken leg.
Hey, 2nd Amendmenters! Wanna know what gun Jesus used during his time?
What?
A nail gun!
Why can't orphans be criminals?
Because they're not wanted.
Have you ever thought about the fact that every market in Africa is a black market?
Came across the headline this morning whilst reading the paper...
"Woman beats off Rapist in carpark!"
I suppose that was a fair compromise!
Why should you abuse the hell out of an orphan? Because what are they gonna do? Tell their mom or dad?
Why is it ok to punch an orphan?
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Why did the orphan rob the bank?
Because he/she wanted to be wanted!
If there are 4 Mexicans in a van, which of them is driving?
None of them. Immigration service is.
Big Mom is so fat, Trafalgar Law can’t make enough room for her!
People were deciding how to punish a terrible criminal, and one man came up with a great idea.
He sat him in a movie theater with no food at all and made him watch a 12 hour documentary about the country Hungary.
What does an armed bank robbery and Michael Jackson have in common?
Someone gets hurt.
Person 1: How many people has Michael Jackson fingered?
Person 2: Dunno, what’s the minor population?