Law jokes
Why can’t orphans play GTA and get five stars? Because they’re not wanted!
Big Mom is so fat, Trafalgar Law can’t make enough room for her!
If you get a divorce with your husband, does that still mean you’re siblings?
Why did the pillow go to court?
Because it had a pillowcase!
Hey, 2nd Amendmenters! Wanna know what gun Jesus used during his time?
What?
A nail gun!
I drove through a school zone and found out you can drag a speed bump 😬.
My mom always said garlic powder makes everything better, so I sprinkled some on my divorce papers and my wife's broken leg.
It's not incest if you're adopted.
Came across the headline this morning whilst reading the paper...
"Woman beats off Rapist in carpark!"
I suppose that was a fair compromise!
Why can't orphans be criminals?
Because they're not wanted.
What do you get when you cross a pedophile and an elementary school? Predator 3.
Someone threw a cup at my eye. I told 911 that I was mugged.
Why did Rolf Harris meet underage kids?
To tie his kangaroo down, sport!
Why was the sheep arrested?
Because he did a "ewe" turn on a motorway.
Was threatened with legal action off my postman this morning!! I was stood havin a smoke when he asked if my dog bites, I said no. Halfway down my path the dog jumped up and bit him on his testicles!! Screaming out in pain he Said I was a lying bitch cos I told him my dog didnt bite!! Told him mine doesnt!! that wasnt my dog!!!
What touches kids and is made out of plastic?
Michael Jackson, hee hee!
I'd hit you, but if I did, I'd go to jail for animal abuse.
Kenny: "Tyler, you're lucky you're adopted."
Tyler: "Why?"
Kenny: "Because you can fuck your mom without getting arrested for incest."
I was invited into a celebrity's house, that's what I told the cops at least...
Why are wives also called a housekeeper?
Because after the divorce, they keep the house.