Law jokes

Why can't orphans get five stars in GTA? Because they weren't wanted.

Imagine being expelled from school for bringing a weapon to school.

If a homeschooled kid shoots his parents, does that count as a school shooting?

Hi, I'm Saul Goodman. Did you know that you have rights? The Constitution says you do, and so do I. I believe that until proven guilty, every man, woman, and child in this country is innocent, and that's why I fight for you, Albuquerque!

I recently got kicked out of a casino because I apparently misunderstood what the craps table was for.

We should stop.

Wait, but who is the orphan going to tell?

The boomerang!

Why can orphans get away from the FBI?

Because they don't have a house.

Here’s one for the Aussies: What’s the difference between an echidna and a police car? All the pricks are on the inside.

Child abortion is like tax evasion: the more you lose, the less problems you have.

Why did the chiropractor go to jail? For not paying $75 in back taxes.

Police: Come with me, I’m taking you home.

Orphan: Well, we need to find them first.

Police: Then I don’t need to take you home.

Why do laws forbid hoes from owning stocks in condom makers?

Answer: Insider trading.

Hippity hoppity, you are no one's property.

What does a gorilla attorney study?

The law of the jungle.

You get on an elevator and you find the Pope and Donald Trump cowering from two snarling wolves. In your hand you find a revolver with only two bullets in it... what do you do?

You shoot the Pope and the Donald each in a leg and exit the elevator at the next stop.

And Mary said God had given her a child, so Joseph went and joined Fathers For Justice.

Did you hear about the crime in the parking garage? It was wrong on so many levels.

Hit 'em with the 1, 2, Jeffery Dahmer!

Why did the bee get into trouble?

Because he wasn't beehiving very well!

You're so trash that when I dropped you off, I got a ticket for littering.