Law jokes
And Mary said God had given her a child, so Joseph went and joined Fathers For Justice.
Did you hear about the crime in the parking garage? It was wrong on so many levels.
You get on an elevator and you find the Pope and Donald Trump cowering from two snarling wolves. In your hand you find a revolver with only two bullets in it... what do you do?
You shoot the Pope and the Donald each in a leg and exit the elevator at the next stop.
Me and my friends jumped some orphans. Who will they tell? Their parents?
Jack and Jill wanted some pills.
So they went to the dealer; he saw they were kids and said, "Fuck this shit," then Jack rocked his ass and took all the good shit except birth control pills.
Memes
DARK ALERT********
A girl went to the doctor. The doctor said she had one year to live. She shot the doctor, and the judge gave her 15 years.
DARK ALERT********
I recently got kicked out of a casino because I apparently misunderstood what the craps table was for.
A man walks into a bar... Oww!
You're so trash that when I dropped you off, I got a ticket for littering.
Why did the bee get into trouble?
Because he wasn't beehiving very well!
Why can't I touch little old women, but nursing home nurses can?
What does a cop say when they shoot ginger?
"Orange is the new black."
What’s the hardest part about being a pedophile?
Fitting in.
Where did Jeffrey Epstein go to college?
Bring them young.
I found Jeffrey Epstein’s diary the other day.
The last entry was about 12 years old.
A: What did the lawyer say to the amputee?
Q: You haven't got a leg to stand on.
Someone complimented my parking today! They left a sweet note on my windshield that said, “Parking fine.”
Tons of people committed suicide on 9/11 by destroying government property.
Not to mention and by plane.
What did Bill Cosby say on the second date?
"Hi, nice to meet you."
What do you do to a deaf girl after you’re done fucking her?
Break her fingers so she can’t tell anyone.