Law jokes
Kid: *runs down the street* HELP ME!
Officer: You OK, kid?
Me: Don't worry! He's my nephew, there was a big spider.
Officer: Oh, OK, ma'am. *walks off*
When officer leaves:
Me: *gets whip* What did I say about leaving the basement?
People were deciding how to punish a terrible criminal, and one man came up with a great idea.
He sat him in a movie theater with no food at all and made him watch a 12 hour documentary about the country Hungary.
Why are all orphans criminals?
Because they want to know what it's like to be wanted.
What’s the best part about fucking a dead bitch?
You don’t need consent.
What do you call the only Trump Supporter to follow his orders to obstruct justice?
Answer: Attorney General William Barr!
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They'll just arrest the bulb for being broke and beat the room for being dark.
So I was at a restaurant and I really hit it off with the waitress, so one thing led to another and I'm at her place and she was really nice at the IHOP but when I was there with her she was all like "ahhh! what are you doing!?!?!? how did you get in my house?!?!?" and then she punched me and I'm the one who ended up in prison.
Where do rape victims buy their clothes from?
The kids section.
If you’re bored, go punch an orphan. What are the parents gonna do?
At the age of 100, you get a letter from the Queen. At 12, you get a DM from Prince Charles.
what did the woman do after meeting up with a rapist?
sue the dating site for matching her with him.
Police arrested a man who dropped his phone in the ocean. The was charged with a salt in battery.
The time when Michael Jackson came in his pajamas during the trial. Whether or not it was because he saw a 7-year-old boy has yet to be determined.
A drunk guy runs into a bar... He bangs his head and falls down, why?
Because he is in a prison cell.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 was a registered sex offender.
Why are orphans lucky?
Because when they drive, they don’t need a license plate, because they don’t have a home.
What is an unborn baby's Olympic sport?
Dodge the coat hanger!
I would slap you, but that would be animal abuse.
Today we need to teach our teens about having safe sex while using contraceptives.
Condoms 99 percent effective.
Birth control 99 percent effective.
Etc.
Just be like me and use underage 7 year olds works 100 percent of the time (only cost 20 years in jail ;)
Can an orphan child be arrested for vandalism, or will the officers ask for their parents to talk to?