Law jokes

If a homeschooled kid shoots his parents, does that count as a school shooting?

Imagine being expelled from school for bringing a weapon to school.

Hi, I'm Saul Goodman. Did you know that you have rights? The Constitution says you do, and so do I. I believe that until proven guilty, every man, woman, and child in this country is innocent, and that's why I fight for you, Albuquerque!

Why did the chiropractor go to jail? For not paying $75 in back taxes.

Police: Come with me, I’m taking you home.

Orphan: Well, we need to find them first.

Police: Then I don’t need to take you home.

And Mary said God had given her a child, so Joseph went and joined Fathers For Justice.

Did you hear about the crime in the parking garage? It was wrong on so many levels.

Hit 'em with the 1, 2, Jeffery Dahmer!

Why did the bee get into trouble?

Because he wasn't beehiving very well!

You're so trash that when I dropped you off, I got a ticket for littering.

I recently got kicked out of a casino because I apparently misunderstood what the craps table was for.

What’s the hardest part about being a pedophile?

Fitting in.

What does a cop say when they shoot ginger?

"Orange is the new black."

What's the difference between Pink Floyd and George Floyd?

When Pink Floyd can't breathe, it's because all their fans are smoking pot.

I saw two blind men fighting at the mall. I yelled, "He has a gun!" They both ran.

I recently got pulled over by the cops and started spazzing out because of the police lights.

He arrested me for impersonating George Floyd.

*I have seizures*

Why can't orphans get 5 stars in GTA? They aren't wanted!

Where did Jeffrey Epstein go to college?

Bring them young.

I found Jeffrey Epstein’s diary the other day.

The last entry was about 12 years old.

A: What did the lawyer say to the amputee?

Q: You haven't got a leg to stand on.