Law jokes

Me: Hi Jacob!

Jacob: Hi.

Me: Your parents went to jail for littering when you were born!

Jacob: GOO GOO GAH GAH

Me after I watch a brother and sister do it: "Me, sister, let's do it";-;

A man walks into a bar... Oww!

"Officer, I drop kicked that child in self-defense." -Techno

Why can't orphans get 5 stars in GTA? They aren't wanted!

A: What did the lawyer say to the amputee?

Q: You haven't got a leg to stand on.

And Mary said God had given her a child, so Joseph went and joined Fathers For Justice.

Two guys in a car get pulled over by a cop. The cop taps the window, and the window rolls down. "Good evening, gentlemen, we're looking for two pedophiles."

The guy quickly closes the window. Ten seconds later, he lowers it again and says, "Ok, we'll do it."

Do you know how hard it is to maintain a good body these days?

I think Jeffrey Dahmer had the right idea, just put it in the freezer.

Hit 'em with the 1, 2, Jeffery Dahmer!

Where did Jeffrey Epstein go to college?

Bring them young.

I found Jeffrey Epstein’s diary the other day.

The last entry was about 12 years old.

The interviewer asked me if I had a criminal record when I was requesting Australian citizenship.

I replied, "No. Is that still required?"

What did Bill Cosby say on the second date?

"Hi, nice to meet you."

Two whores are watching the sun come up, splitting a bottle of Mad Dog and celebrating another night of servicing the general public. One asks the other: "Say. You ever been picked up by the fuzz?"

Her friend thinks it over, "No...but I have been swung around by the tits a few times!"

I'm required by law to tell you I am a registered sex offender.

People should've recognized that Jared Fogle was a sick offender by one coded Subway sandwich; he normally claimed to kids he ate the sweet onion chicken teriyaki when it was the tuna sub.

Tuna sub was the message of the target to the kid since "tuna sub" put together makes "tunasub" and the truth comes when you spell it in reverse ("busanut")!

Came across the headline this morning whilst reading the paper...

"Woman beats off Rapist in carpark!"

I suppose that was a fair compromise!

Why should you abuse the hell out of an orphan? Because what are they gonna do? Tell their mom or dad?

What's the difference between an orphan and a criminal?

The criminal is wanted.