Law

Law jokes

Amputee

A: What did the lawyer say to the amputee?

Q: You haven't got a leg to stand on.

Father

And Mary said God had given her a child, so Joseph went and joined Fathers For Justice.

Pedophile

Two guys in a car get pulled over by a cop. The cop taps the window, and the window rolls down. "Good evening, gentlemen, we're looking for two pedophiles."

The guy quickly closes the window. Ten seconds later, he lowers it again and says, "Ok, we'll do it."

Body

Do you know how hard it is to maintain a good body these days?

I think Jeffrey Dahmer had the right idea, just put it in the freezer.

Diary

I found Jeffrey Epstein’s diary the other day.

The last entry was about 12 years old.

Whore

Two whores are watching the sun come up, splitting a bottle of Mad Dog and celebrating another night of servicing the general public. One asks the other: "Say. You ever been picked up by the fuzz?"

Her friend thinks it over, "No...but I have been swung around by the tits a few times!"

Sandwich

People should've recognized that Jared Fogle was a sick offender by one coded Subway sandwich; he normally claimed to kids he ate the sweet onion chicken teriyaki when it was the tuna sub.

Tuna sub was the message of the target to the kid since "tuna sub" put together makes "tunasub" and the truth comes when you spell it in reverse ("busanut")!

Woman

Came across the headline this morning whilst reading the paper...

"Woman beats off Rapist in carpark!"

I suppose that was a fair compromise!

Orphan

Why should you abuse the hell out of an orphan? Because what are they gonna do? Tell their mom or dad?

Orphan

What's the difference between an orphan and a criminal?

The criminal is wanted.

Orphan

Why is it ok to punch an orphan?

What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

Orphan

Pro tip kids, you CAN hit an orphan because they can't cry to their parents!