Law jokes

I walked into a supermarket to get some ordinary clothes for the wife. Then I realized I was in a rape museum.

Someone complimented my parking today! They left a sweet note on my windshield that said, “Parking fine.”

What did Bill Cosby say on the second date?

"Hi, nice to meet you."

What do you do to a deaf girl after you’re done fucking her?

Break her fingers so she can’t tell anyone.

Tons of people committed suicide on 9/11 by destroying government property.

Not to mention and by plane.

Did you hear about the guy who was arrested for stealing luggage? Unfortunately, he lost his case.

Where did Jeffrey Epstein go to college?

Bring them young.

What is a necrophiliac's safe word?

"I'm alive!"

I found Jeffrey Epstein’s diary the other day.

The last entry was about 12 years old.

Me and my friends jumped some orphans. Who will they tell? Their parents?

Do you know how hard it is to maintain a good body these days?

I think Jeffrey Dahmer had the right idea, just put it in the freezer.

"Officer, I drop kicked that child in self-defense." -Techno

What is the most common crime in Asia?

Identity fraud.

Why do orphans like robbing banks?

So they can be wanted.

Yo, barber fucked up so bad he had to get a breathalyzer test.

Me: Hi Jacob!

Jacob: Hi.

Me: Your parents went to jail for littering when you were born!

Jacob: GOO GOO GAH GAH

A man walks into a bar... Oww!

Why did the bee get into trouble?

Because he wasn't beehiving very well!

I recently got kicked out of a casino because I apparently misunderstood what the craps table was for.

Don’t be racist. Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.