Law jokes
What’s the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom?
One snatches your watch. The other watches your snatch.
What is the reason for why women never look to the right?
Because they don't have any rights.
I'm going to burn Braden Mitchell Kniffen's house down.
Women be like if men are gone, Earth would be a better place, (forgetting) women help to create war, weapons, animal and human cruelty, and have helped to enforce laws that oppress them.
Why did the orphan play GTA? So he could get wanted.
My friend, Jackson Huge-T, got raped by Huge-D's.
Q: What is the difference between Austin Matthews and a priest?
A: One looks like a pedophile and one is a pedophile.
What did Bill Cosby say on the second date?
"Hi, nice to meet you."
A blind guy shot up a town.
I guess he couldn’t see the road to heaven.
I was at the club and then my dad walked up and said, "You're 15, why are you high and at the club?" So I ran. Then my uncle was at the car and took me home, so I was grounded. Then my boyfriend came because my parents went out and we had sex and we were very loud. My dad came home and walked in. He had my boyfriend pin me against the wall so my dad could spank me.
Why did the orphan become a killer?
Because he knew they would not look for him.
When a woman decides to abort, it is called a decision, but when I run my truck into a playground of kids, it is called murder.
Why do asses make the best detectives?
They always crack the case!
What do you say if you are raped once but feel raped twice?
"I was raped raped."
What's the difference between an emo and a prisoner?
The prisoner is wanted!
I wasn’t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.
I got the joke from my brother.
When the police caught him stealing the batteries, he got immediately charged!
I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium, you're "being a respectful friend." Do it at home and you're "destroying evidence."
A woman ran into a police station screaming, "Help, I have been graped!" The policeman said, "Do you mean raped?" The woman said, "No, there was a bunch of them!"
According to all known laws of aviation, a bee should not be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground, but of course, bees fly anyway because bees don't care about what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, Black. Yellow, Black.