Law jokes
Hippity hoppity, you are no one's property.
I have the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban at the New York Zoo.
What is Armin Meiwes' ideal date? Dinner.
Did you hear about the two burglars that stole a calendar?
I hear they got six months each.
Why can’t orphans play GTA and get five stars? Because they’re not wanted!
Elmo: Welcome to the new micronation of Tickelandia.
Dude: Why are we close to Disneyland?
Kid: I don't know.
Elmo: Rule 1, you must not tell the forests or Bob Iger about us.
Meanwhile, Officer: Come on, Elmo, you're going to prison.
*Officer arrests Elmo*
Elmo: But who wants tickles?
Roses are red, violets are blue, Bill Cosby will pudding rape you.
What did Bob the police officer say to his chest?
"You're under a vest."
Why do orphans rob the bank?
Because they want to be wanted.
Babe, I'm breaking up with you.
Why? I'm turning 18 tomorrow.
Police: Where do you live?
Me: With my parents.
Police: Where do your parents live?
Me: With me.
Police: Where do you all live?
Me: Together.
Police: Where is your house?
Me: Next to my neighbor's house.
Police: Where is your neighbor's house?
Me: If I tell you, you won't believe me.
Police: Tell me.
Me: Next to my house.
Police: *Arrests me*
What does a kite and a criminal have in common?
They both get high.
What's the difference between an orphan and a criminal?
The criminal is wanted.
If a person kills their counselor, does that mean that they don't need therapy anymore?
If you steal a lottery ticket, is it considered Grand Theft Lotto?
Incest.
When your genealogy chart is a straight line.
I have eaten 6 babies, 9 adolescent children, and 2 infants in the past week ;p
When you step on the scales, it says "to be confined."
Why do the police never catch the orphan?
The orphan is not wanted.
What’s worse than banging your sister?
Having to wear your dad’s wedding ring.