Law jokes
In heaven, the Englishman is responsible for jokes, the Italian man for food, and the German man for law and order. In hell, the Englishman is responsible for food, the Italian man for law and order, and the German man for jokes.
Officer, I drop-kicked that child in self-defense!
You gotta believe me!
What did the female rapist say at her hearing?
"Well that boy's dick was inside me and you know what you metoo people say, 'my body my choice.'"
A child is determined to burn his home down. His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm across the mother and stated, “That’s arson.”
Hi, everyone. Serious question. Would it be illegal to decapitate a worm? Asking for a friend, he's so worried we're going to jail. I'm not. I'm fine. Please reply fast.
What is harder than steel?
Michael Jackson on a primary school oval. 😂
By the law, you are not allowed to have a sick bird. That's ill-eagle.
what do you call an autistic police officer? special forces
You're so ugly, when your mom dropped you off at school, she got a fine for littering.
My dad has the heart of a lion, and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
What's the difference between a yellow line and a baby?
You can't run over a yellow line.
The time when Michael Jackson came in his pajamas during the trial. Whether or not it was because he saw a 7-year-old boy has yet to be determined.
Oh, sh**! I'm late for my interview! Do you know where the nearest sex offender registry is?
What's black and white and red all over?
A police brutality case.
How can you make a woman scream your name when you have sex with her?
Change your name to "Rape."
I am crying tears of joy rn. I was wrongfully sentenced to death. They took me to prison to wait for my execution, but when I got there, they said that I was free. I asked them why and they told me that a man named Penaldo had taken my death penalty for me. Thank you, Penaldo!
"Yes, officer! It was a requirement to run over that child. It matched perfectly with the beat drop!"
Today I put the women’s rights book in the fantasy section of a library.
9 year olds can consent. That’s like 18 divided by 2.
Kid: *runs down the street* HELP ME!
Officer: You OK, kid?
Me: Don't worry! He's my nephew, there was a big spider.
Officer: Oh, OK, ma'am. *walks off*
When officer leaves:
Me: *gets whip* What did I say about leaving the basement?