Law jokes

I didn't know I raped her. I thought she wanted me to hurry up.

My doctor told me, "Time heals wounds."

So I stabbed him.

Now we wait...

If a midget says your hair smells nice, is that sexual assault?

The time when Michael Jackson came in his pajamas during the trial. Whether or not it was because he saw a 7-year-old boy has yet to be determined.

A depressed man was caught on top of the Empire State Building with marijuana. Needless to say, he didn't want to come down.

Why did the orphan rob the bank?

So they could be wanted.

In heaven, the Englishman is responsible for jokes, the Italian man for food, and the German man for law and order. In hell, the Englishman is responsible for food, the Italian man for law and order, and the German man for jokes.

If the government can print money,

Then why are we paying taxes?

A child is determined to burn his home down. His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm across the mother and stated, “That’s arson.”

What did the female rapist say at her hearing?

"Well that boy's dick was inside me and you know what you metoo people say, 'my body my choice.'"

Officer, I drop-kicked that child in self-defense!

You gotta believe me!

Hi, everyone. Serious question. Would it be illegal to decapitate a worm? Asking for a friend, he's so worried we're going to jail. I'm not. I'm fine. Please reply fast.

What is harder than steel?

Michael Jackson on a primary school oval. 😂

what do you call an autistic police officer? special forces

By the law, you are not allowed to have a sick bird. That's ill-eagle.

I may not be as "rich" as Donald Trump, but at least I am still allowed to go on holiday to Bali, Niagara Falls, Hong Kong, and the Pyramids of Giza.

Orange Jesus can't travel to these places because these places cannot grant entry to felons.

...ah, who am I kidding? It's likely that Trump is going to prison, anyway.

Where do rape victims buy their clothes from?

The kids section.

Are you George Floyd?

'Cause baby, you take my breath away... OOF!

You're so ugly, when your mom dropped you off at school, she got a fine for littering.

What's the difference between a yellow line and a baby?

You can't run over a yellow line.