Law jokes
What is a pedophile's favorite age range?
9-11.
Why do orphans get to watch rated R movies? Because their parents can't stop them.
Why do orphans hate Ted Bundy? Cause he's the most wanted.
What does a mother fear most?
Hearing "YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER!" for 5 different men.
What does the handicapped man say to the cops when he’s mistaken for a criminal: "Don't shoot, I'm unarmed!"
Memes
Why did the orphan commit crimes? To know what it's like to be wanted.
Q: Why did the cat get arrested?
A: He was caught littering.
Q: Why did the cat get a ticket?
A: He was caught littering.
Someone stole my grass today. I went to the police, and they said: "What's wrong?" I said, "How could you tell something was wrong?" They replied, "You were looking forlorn."
I learned my dad got into a car crash this morning.
And my driver's license got revoked too.
Why are orphans good at being a criminal?
Because they're not wanted.
Why do orphans want to become criminals? To know what it feels like to be wanted.
What's the difference between my girlfriend and my uncle?
My girlfriend didn't go to jail for loving me.
Everybody loves guns!
Every time I show them mine, they give me free stuff.
"You are under arrest for illegally downloading the entire Wikipedia!"
"Wait! I can explain everything!"
You know what I hate about rape?
Keeping it a secret.
What is it called when Bill Cosby and an illegal immigrant fight?
Aliens vs. Predator
A blind guy shot up a town.
I guess he couldn’t see the road to heaven.
I was walking by a prison when I saw a midget in an orange jumpsuit climbing down the fence. When he hit the ground and sneered at me, I said, “Well, that’s a little condescending.”
A lady runs into a police station and yells, "Help, help! I've been graped!"
A police officer says, "Do you mean raped?"
The girl then replies, "No, there was a bunch of 'em!"