Law jokes
It’s OK if emo kids always hang from the trees, but if we do it, it’s considered against the law.
What is a pedophile's favorite age range?
9-11.
Trying to find a good parking spot is a lot like trying to find a girlfriend.
If you can’t find one, you stick it in the disabled spot and hope nobody finds out.
When I’m bored, I text a random number, “I hid the body... now what?”
Two priests walk into a store, and cops come up to them and say they’re looking for a child molester, and the priests both say, "I’ll do it!"
Did you know that people say Michael Jackson only became a pedophile when he was white?
Lucky for him, if he was black he would have been found guilty.
Why do orphans want to become criminals? To know what it feels like to be wanted.
What's the difference between my girlfriend and my uncle?
My girlfriend didn't go to jail for loving me.
Everybody loves guns!
Every time I show them mine, they give me free stuff.
Why are orphans good at being a criminal?
Because they're not wanted.
"You are under arrest for illegally downloading the entire Wikipedia!"
"Wait! I can explain everything!"
You know what I hate about rape?
Keeping it a secret.
What is it called when Bill Cosby and an illegal immigrant fight?
Aliens vs. Predator
A lady runs into a police station and yells, "Help, help! I've been graped!"
A police officer says, "Do you mean raped?"
The girl then replies, "No, there was a bunch of 'em!"
A blind guy shot up a town.
I guess he couldn’t see the road to heaven.
I was walking by a prison when I saw a midget in an orange jumpsuit climbing down the fence. When he hit the ground and sneered at me, I said, “Well, that’s a little condescending.”
Why were Helen Keller's hands crippled?
From reading stop signs at fifty miles per hour.
They say watching child porn will get me 20 years in jail. I prefer to think of it as two 10-year-olds.
What's the best part of being a pedophile? You will never have a wife.
My doctor told me, "Time heals wounds."
So I stabbed him.
Now we wait...