Law jokes

"You are under arrest for illegally downloading the entire Wikipedia!"

"Wait! I can explain everything!"

What’s George Floyd’s favorite color? Neon black.

I hate double standards. If you burn a body at a crematorium, you're doing a good job. If you burn a body at home, you're destroying evidence.

You know what I hate about rape?

Keeping it a secret.

What is it called when Bill Cosby and an illegal immigrant fight?

Aliens vs. Predator

A blind guy shot up a town.

I guess he couldn’t see the road to heaven.

I was walking by a prison when I saw a midget in an orange jumpsuit climbing down the fence. When he hit the ground and sneered at me, I said, “Well, that’s a little condescending.”

Did you guys see on the news where they arrested that pervert at the Michaels Crafts store?

He was running around completely naked and had sprinkled glitter all over his testicles. I guess it was pretty nuts.

9/11... 911... COINCIDENCE I THINK NOT!

A lady runs into a police station and yells, "Help, help! I've been graped!"

A police officer says, "Do you mean raped?"

The girl then replies, "No, there was a bunch of 'em!"

Why were Helen Keller's hands crippled?

From reading stop signs at fifty miles per hour.

What do you call a racist crow?

Jim.

What's the best part of being a pedophile? You will never have a wife.

My doctor told me, "Time heals wounds."

So I stabbed him.

Now we wait...

I didn't know I raped her. I thought she wanted me to hurry up.

If a midget says your hair smells nice, is that sexual assault?

They say watching child porn will get me 20 years in jail. I prefer to think of it as two 10-year-olds.

A depressed man was caught on top of the Empire State Building with marijuana. Needless to say, he didn't want to come down.

EatDatPussy445, aka Deyione Scott-Wilson Eason, aka Bryant Turman Emerson Moreland, is a pedophile, and he is in Las Vegas right now. Go, go, go, catch him!

Why did the orphan rob the bank?

So they could be wanted.