Law jokes
My homework was to watch as much porn as I can... and tell my teacher the details so he won't get in trouble for watching it during class.
Did you know that people say Michael Jackson only became a pedophile when he was white?
Lucky for him, if he was black he would have been found guilty.
What do you call a religious drug addict?
A crystal methodist.
I asked a black man on the street if a white person paints their face black, it’s considered racist, but if a black person paints their face white, will the cops treat them better?
A man hit a woman with his car, who is wrong?
The man, because you can’t drive into the kitchen.
Memes
What happened to the frog that partied illegally?
He got TOAD away!
What is a pedophile's favorite age range?
9-11.
It’s OK if emo kids always hang from the trees, but if we do it, it’s considered against the law.
Trying to find a good parking spot is a lot like trying to find a girlfriend.
If you can’t find one, you stick it in the disabled spot and hope nobody finds out.
What's the difference between my girlfriend and my uncle?
My girlfriend didn't go to jail for loving me.
Why are orphans good at being a criminal?
Because they're not wanted.
Everybody loves guns!
Every time I show them mine, they give me free stuff.
"You are under arrest for illegally downloading the entire Wikipedia!"
"Wait! I can explain everything!"
Why do orphans want to become criminals? To know what it feels like to be wanted.
You know what I hate about rape?
Keeping it a secret.
What is it called when Bill Cosby and an illegal immigrant fight?
Aliens vs. Predator
A blind guy shot up a town.
I guess he couldn’t see the road to heaven.
I was walking by a prison when I saw a midget in an orange jumpsuit climbing down the fence. When he hit the ground and sneered at me, I said, “Well, that’s a little condescending.”
A lady runs into a police station and yells, "Help, help! I've been graped!"
A police officer says, "Do you mean raped?"
The girl then replies, "No, there was a bunch of 'em!"
They say watching child porn will get me 20 years in jail. I prefer to think of it as two 10-year-olds.