Law jokes
Q: Why did the cat get arrested?
A: He was caught littering.
Q: Why did the cat get a ticket?
A: He was caught littering.
Why did the orphan commit crimes? To know what it's like to be wanted.
Someone stole my grass today. I went to the police, and they said: "What's wrong?" I said, "How could you tell something was wrong?" They replied, "You were looking forlorn."
When I’m bored, I text a random number, “I hid the body... now what?”
Did you know that people say Michael Jackson only became a pedophile when he was white?
Lucky for him, if he was black he would have been found guilty.
What do you call a religious drug addict?
A crystal methodist.
Why do orphans want to become criminals? To know what it feels like to be wanted.
What's the difference between my girlfriend and my uncle?
My girlfriend didn't go to jail for loving me.
Everybody loves guns!
Every time I show them mine, they give me free stuff.
"You are under arrest for illegally downloading the entire Wikipedia!"
"Wait! I can explain everything!"
You know what I hate about rape?
Keeping it a secret.
What is it called when Bill Cosby and an illegal immigrant fight?
Aliens vs. Predator
A lady runs into a police station and yells, "Help, help! I've been graped!"
A police officer says, "Do you mean raped?"
The girl then replies, "No, there was a bunch of 'em!"
A blind guy shot up a town.
I guess he couldn’t see the road to heaven.
I was walking by a prison when I saw a midget in an orange jumpsuit climbing down the fence. When he hit the ground and sneered at me, I said, “Well, that’s a little condescending.”
Why were Helen Keller's hands crippled?
From reading stop signs at fifty miles per hour.
They say watching child porn will get me 20 years in jail. I prefer to think of it as two 10-year-olds.
What's the best part of being a pedophile? You will never have a wife.
My doctor told me, "Time heals wounds."
So I stabbed him.
Now we wait...