Law jokes
Person: So, Jimmy, what do you do all day?
Jimmy Savile: Anyone who I can do.
My life is so meaningless that I committed a crime just to get shot. 0-0
This is not a joke; this is just about death...
If I were a judge and gave you a sentence, I would sentence you to life for your looks.
The hardest part of picking up a hitch hiker is tying them up.
I got hired by an orphan to commit crimes, so he could become wanted.
Why do orphans want to be criminals?
To be wanted.
What do you call an Indian eating cows? Mooove to jail.
Why am I in jail?
All I did was cause 9/11.
Why did the orphan get arrested for identity theft?
He dressed up as Batman for Halloween.
I feel wrong. What does this make us?
Still cousins.
"Lock him up, you know, Trump!"
A friend of mine told me something that I cannot forget, and I am now traumatized to hell. The next day a kid was set for an amber alert that looked exactly like my DEAR friend! :)
Stop sign: If you speed, I'll call your parents.
Orphans: Going 180.
Was busy robbing a house as quietly as possible and saw a woman catching me in the act, decided to get her in on the act and gave away my location from the noise.
The doctor gave his patient 1 day of life, so he shot him. Then the judge gave him 15 years, so there you go, problem solved.
Law is temporary. Syria is eternal.
What do you call a not potty trained human?
Amber Heard.
Amber Heard Daily Routine:
Get out of bed, drink coffee, take a shit on Johnny Depp's bed.
I think it was wrong for that school shooter to end his life at the scene.
He could have done some good by becoming some lonely lifer's bottom.
My friend said, "Let's have a sleepover."
Little did I know it was just at prison.