Law jokes

It's a little known fact that Helen Keller was against teaching deaf people sign language and thought they should be forced to use oral language.

Weird.

Last time I forced somebody into oral, I got arrested.

If you think Tracy Latimer's murder was in any way justified, put on your helmet 'cause you're about to miss the short bus.

Why do orphans want to be criminals?

To be wanted.

I got hired by an orphan to commit crimes, so he could become wanted.

I feel wrong. What does this make us?

Still cousins.

What do you call an Indian eating cows? Mooove to jail.

My life is so meaningless that I committed a crime just to get shot. 0-0

This is not a joke; this is just about death...

Was busy robbing a house as quietly as possible and saw a woman catching me in the act, decided to get her in on the act and gave away my location from the noise.

Law is temporary. Syria is eternal.

"Lock him up, you know, Trump!"

A friend of mine told me something that I cannot forget, and I am now traumatized to hell. The next day a kid was set for an amber alert that looked exactly like my DEAR friend! :)

I think it was wrong for that school shooter to end his life at the scene.

He could have done some good by becoming some lonely lifer's bottom.

Stop sign: If you speed, I'll call your parents.

Orphans: Going 180.

What do you call a not potty trained human?

Amber Heard.

Amber Heard Daily Routine:

Get out of bed, drink coffee, take a shit on Johnny Depp's bed.

The doctor gave his patient 1 day of life, so he shot him. Then the judge gave him 15 years, so there you go, problem solved.

Did you hear about the man who stole a calendar?

He got 12 months.

Worst joke ever.

“Wills”

Are they a dead giveaway!

Bird on the beach: seagull.

Bird by the bay: bagel.

Bird down south Philly Walmart parking lot: illegal.

The hardest part of picking up a hitch hiker is tying them up.