Law jokes
The doctor gave his patient 1 day of life, so he shot him. Then the judge gave him 15 years, so there you go, problem solved.
What do you call a not potty trained human?
Amber Heard.
I think it was wrong for that school shooter to end his life at the scene.
He could have done some good by becoming some lonely lifer's bottom.
I feel wrong. What does this make us?
Still cousins.
A guy gets home from work to see his girlfriend packing, and he asks her why she is packing. The girl says, "Because I found out you're a pedophile." The guy goes, "A pedophile?" And she says, "Yes." The guy goes, "That's a big word for a 12-year-old."
Memes
What do you call an Indian eating cows? Mooove to jail.
What do you call a chomo on the road? Roadkill.
Why did the orphan get arrested for identity theft?
He dressed up as Batman for Halloween.
How did the guy rob the water park?
He used a water gun!
LOL 💦🔫💧🌊
My friend said, "Let's have a sleepover."
Little did I know it was just at prison.
What is an unborn baby's Olympic sport?
Dodge the coat hanger!
What is Armin Meiwes' ideal date? Dinner.
Why did Orphan become famous?
Because he didn't need parent permission.
If I were a judge and gave you a sentence, I would sentence you to life for your looks.
Why are orphans lucky? Because they don’t need a license plate because they don’t have a home.
"Hipity hopity, get the f*ck off my property!"
“Wills”
Are they a dead giveaway!
What do you call an orphan with a gun?
(No) home shooter.
You know why they call me 007?
0 girls.
0 chances.
7 restraining orders.
Person: So, Jimmy, what do you do all day?
Jimmy Savile: Anyone who I can do.