Law jokes
A 6-year-old girl decides to get baptized. She walks into the water of the river. Unfortunately, the pastor was drunk. The pastor put her in the water and dunked her under. The drunken man then forgot to bring her up from the water. The poor girl drowned and died...
Later on, when the pastor was better and thrown in jail, all he had to say to the mortified family was, “Well, at least she’s in heaven!”
What does an orphan not have in common with a criminal?
Criminals are wanted.
So, I went up to an Australian girl. She looked like she was 20, and I said, "Can I have your phone number, sweetheart?" She said, "696969." I said, "Oh, haha, okay." A few days later, her mother called me and said she's 15.
A drunk guy runs into a bar... He bangs his head and falls down, why?
Because he is in a prison cell.
@shelby denver is a massive nonce.
Memes
Why did I f*** my dad?
So I could have s€x without my mom finding out. Should I not have done that?
What do you call the only Trump Supporter to follow his orders to obstruct justice?
Answer: Attorney General William Barr!
I’m here to collect my bounty, what’s your bounty? Your pants.
Me: Hi Jaiden.
Bully/Jaiden Harper: Leave me alone, weirdo.
Me: Wow, says the one who didn't pass 3rd grade.
Bully/Jaiden Harper: *hits*
Me: *calls FBI and puts on gloves and stabs random person then gives knife to Jaiden and takes off gloves* Bye bye.
FBI: FBI OPEN UP!!!!!!!!!
Why am I in jail?
All I did was cause 9/11.
Why do orphans want to be criminals?
To be wanted.
I got hired by an orphan to commit crimes, so he could become wanted.
The hardest part of picking up a hitch hiker is tying them up.
Was busy robbing a house as quietly as possible and saw a woman catching me in the act, decided to get her in on the act and gave away my location from the noise.
My life is so meaningless that I committed a crime just to get shot. 0-0
This is not a joke; this is just about death...
Law is temporary. Syria is eternal.
Amber Heard Daily Routine:
Get out of bed, drink coffee, take a shit on Johnny Depp's bed.
Stop sign: If you speed, I'll call your parents.
Orphans: Going 180.
A friend of mine told me something that I cannot forget, and I am now traumatized to hell. The next day a kid was set for an amber alert that looked exactly like my DEAR friend! :)
"Lock him up, you know, Trump!"