Law jokes
I will always remember my grandpa's last words after robbing a bank: "Oh, shit! The pigs are catching up!" But the cops did not kill him; he drove full speed off a cliff.
Why didn't R. Kelly go to Germany to fuck teens? The legal age there is 14...Like bro hop on a plane and fuck a 14 year old hooker!
What is red, white, and blue all over?
A dead cop.
My friend walked down the street and peed on a car.
What is the difference between the human rights?
Memes
Why can’t you yell at a kid?
Because the cops are after you.
You can't put an orphan on house arrest if there isn't a house to arrest them to.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Fishes.
Fishes who?
Fishes the police, come out with your hands up!
Killing someone is better than killing yourself.
A man gets arrested after writing "MORBID JOKES COMING OUT THIS TIME NEXT YEAR!" and "I'm gay!"
Why can’t girls in the Middle East smoke weed?
Because they’ll get stoned.
What's up guys! Quandale Dingle here (RUUEHEHEHEHEHEEHE). I have been arrested for multiple crimes (AHHHHHHHHHHHHH) including: Battery on a police officer (WHAT), Grand theft, Declaring war on Italy, and public indecency (RUHEHEHEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE x2 speed).
I will be escaping prison on, MARCH 28TH! After that I will take over the worl[d].
Me: Ok so let's get this straight....
Cop: I'm not straight ok, now get in the car.
Me: But I didn't do anything?
Cop: No.
Me: So why are you arresting me then?
Cop: Imma tell you a story.
Me: Oh no.......
Cop: I know, now come on.
Me: Ok where?
Cop: My room.
Me: Which room?
Cop: My bedroom.
Me: 😱I'm a girl.
Cop: So am I, now get in.
Me: But I'm 9.
Cop: I'm 59.
A man named Icide ruined my life. I asked a friend if he would help me sue him. He said yes. But for some reason, he killed me.
All I wanted was for someone to help me sue Icide...
What’s black and sits at the top of the stairs?
Rosa Parks.
Lol.
Little Johnny was walking on the street alone one day and saw a robber. Little Johnny says to him "Give the mother fucking broken ass piece of shit back!"
To which the robber says "FUCK YOU! I don't wanna."
Little Johnny calls the police and says "A robber is stealing a broken ass piece of shit purse."
The police said "How old are you?"
Little Johnny then hangs up the phone.
Riddle: A man killed his wife in his car with a knife, and no one could see him. He threw the body out of the car and threw the knife off a cliff. When he got home, the cops called the man and told him his wife was dead and to come to the scene of the crime. The man agreed and rushed to the scene. When he got there, the cops immediately arrested him. Why?
ANSWER: The cops never said where the scene of the crime is.
Did you hear about how that deaf man got a ticket?
It's ok, he didn't either!
What's the difference between an American police man and a Christian?
At least a Christian kneels in church.
Q: How many cops does it take to put in a light bulb? A: None, they just beat the room for being black. 😂😂😂