Law jokes

What's similar between McDonald's and priests?

They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.

One night I was sitting on my bed in my room, minding my own business. It was pretty late, around 10 PM. The glow of my laptop screen was the only light in the room. I heard a noise coming from behind me. It sounded like the door was opening, but there was no one else in the house.

I turned around and found Mr. Incredible standing in my doorway, a stern look on his face. He walked over to me, slowly and dramatically. Then he leaned over and pointed his finger at my face, only about two inches away now. I was frozen with my back against the wall. Then, Mr. Incredible said something I would never forget: "Stop pirating video games."

Ever since that day, I have never gone on a pirating website and have paid legally for my video games. True story.

One day Johnae said, "What do you call a family outing?"

"Incest."

Low key Johnae fucks Kirby and Peach.

When you accidentally choke your girlfriend to death and then realize that it's your sister so who gives a f**k?

What do you call a pillow that has been on the bed for 20 years in jail?

A criminal! 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃

Your Mom tells you to take out the trash, and the next day the Police are asking if you bombed the School.

A police officer said to a belly button, "You're under a-vest."

Yo mama is soooooo fat that she was arrested for carrying 10 pounds of crack!

Guys, you know any best rape roleplay? (I'm a guy, btw.)

Why did the person go to jail?

He committed a crime.

Why didn't R. Kelly go to Germany to fuck teens? The legal age there is 14...Like bro hop on a plane and fuck a 14 year old hooker!

What is red, white, and blue all over?

A dead cop.

I will always remember my grandpa's last words after robbing a bank: "Oh, shit! The pigs are catching up!" But the cops did not kill him; he drove full speed off a cliff.

Why can’t you yell at a kid?

Because the cops are after you.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Fishes.

Fishes who?

Fishes the police, come out with your hands up!

My friend walked down the street and peed on a car.

Killing someone is better than killing yourself.

You can't put an orphan on house arrest if there isn't a house to arrest them to.

It's illegal to go onto someone's property, demand money that they might not have while wearing all black, and threaten horrible things if they don't pay.

But when the IRS does it, it's perfectly fine. HMMMMM . . .

The woman was thinking she wanted to have sex, but one second later, she did it on the street with a criminal.