Law jokes

Little Johnny brought a baseball bat to school.

The teacher asked why he had one. He said, "I need it to beat up the principal!"

When the principal found out what Little Johnny had said, well, let’s just say Little Johnny didn’t need no baseball bat to kill him.

What’s the best part of raping an 11 year old girl?

Killing the little bitch after you’ve finished with her.

What's similar between McDonald's and priests?

They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.

A cop pulls over an old man.

The cop walks up to the old man and says, "Do you know why I pulled you over?"

The old man said, "No."

One night I was sitting on my bed in my room, minding my own business. It was pretty late, around 10 PM. The glow of my laptop screen was the only light in the room. I heard a noise coming from behind me. It sounded like the door was opening, but there was no one else in the house.

I turned around and found Mr. Incredible standing in my doorway, a stern look on his face. He walked over to me, slowly and dramatically. Then he leaned over and pointed his finger at my face, only about two inches away now. I was frozen with my back against the wall. Then, Mr. Incredible said something I would never forget: "Stop pirating video games."

Ever since that day, I have never gone on a pirating website and have paid legally for my video games. True story.

One day Johnae said, "What do you call a family outing?"

"Incest."

Low key Johnae fucks Kirby and Peach.

Child predators: "You're so six-y."

When you accidentally choke your girlfriend to death and then realize that it's your sister so who gives a f**k?

What do you call a pillow that has been on the bed for 20 years in jail?

A criminal! 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃

Your Mom tells you to take out the trash, and the next day the Police are asking if you bombed the School.

Yo mama is soooooo fat that she was arrested for carrying 10 pounds of crack!

A police officer said to a belly button, "You're under a-vest."

Guys, you know any best rape roleplay? (I'm a guy, btw.)

Why did the person go to jail?

He committed a crime.

Why didn't R. Kelly go to Germany to fuck teens? The legal age there is 14...Like bro hop on a plane and fuck a 14 year old hooker!

What is red, white, and blue all over?

A dead cop.

Why can’t girls in the Middle East smoke weed?

Because they’ll get stoned.

Here’s what I did to the kids at the orphanage. I dropkicked 12, lit 10 on fire, comboed 9, punched 3, and murdered 1.

What does a middle aged man live in?

A retarded kid he keeps in the van.

It's illegal to go onto someone's property, demand money that they might not have while wearing all black, and threaten horrible things if they don't pay.

But when the IRS does it, it's perfectly fine. HMMMMM . . .