Sale jokes

This was a few months ago. I used to help people load and unload inventory. One day I’m driving home after having lunch with my sister, and she asked if we can stop at the next gas station. I told her, "So you can weigh yourself on the truck scale?"

I was walking down the street one day and I passed the gun store. I walked in and everything was half off. I didn't know back to school sales had started already.

Today, I spotted Johnny Depp on the clearance rack at Kmart. Kmart is currently trying to clear its inventory of wife-beaters.

Donald Trump wants to ban the sale of pre-shredded cheese.

He wants to make America grate again.

Chuck Norris decided to sell his urine as an energy drink, which you now know as Red Bull.

I told my friend that if he ever wants 50% off something at a store, just to take me with him and scan my wrist.

What's the difference between kids and drugs? I don't sell drugs.

For sale: Dead canary.

Not going cheep.

For Sale: Parachute. Used once, never opened, small stain.

I saw this advert in a window that said: “Television for sale, £1, volume stuck on full.” I thought, “I can’t turn that down.”

I drove by the gun shop the other day and everything was half off for back to school.

What does a pregnant slave and a payless sale have in common?

Buy one, get one free.

Michael Jackson has done something no one has ever done before. I'm not talking about his record sales or tickets sold.

I'm talking about being born a black man and dying a white woman. Incredible!

Why should you be friends with emos? Because you get to scan their bar code for 20% off, and when it expires, they get rid of themselves.

I bought a coffin on Black Friday. It was a killer deal.

Do you want to buy my Hoover?

I mean... it's just collecting dust.

Why was Michael Jackson at Kmart?

He heard they had little boys' pants 1/2 off.

Someone should start a vaping company with the slogan: "Vapes that hit harder than your dad." Sales would skyrocket.

A 28-year-old medical student is auctioning off her virginity online.

For $300K, you can have the worst sex of your life.

Michael Jackson was recently sighted at Target. Why? The sale was all boys' pants half off!