Law jokes

Roses are red, violets are blue, Bill Cosby will pudding rape you.

I just threw some cigarette butts on the ground while I was driving.

I wasn't clean after this.

Q: Why do women only use their lefts?

A: Because they don't have any rights.

What's the difference between a baby and a salad?

I'm not in jail for tossing a salad.

Having sex in an elevator is wrong. On so many levels.

Why did the orphan commit a crime?

Because they wanted to be wanted!

Yo mama's so ugly, she looked out the window and was arrested for mooning.

I really wanna hit you right now, but that would be animal abuse.

Q: What's worse than f**king a 2 year old?

A: Wiping the blood off of your clown suit afterwards.

"White on white crime, well ham rights crime anyway in Eastern Europe right now!"

Q: Why can orphans never be criminals?

A: Because they're never wanted.

Can an orphan child be arrested for vandalism, or will the officers ask for their parents to talk to?

I'm an orphan, so kidnap me.

I saw a guy crossing a street once. The light was red.

You know shit is going down when anything pumped up kicks related is brought into school.

Q: Name a murderer?

Aborted fetus: My mum.

When you hit a speed bump in a school zone and then you remember there are no speed bumps.

Two kids were beating up a kid in an alley, so I stepped in to help. He didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.

I'm in school lol.

I always loved going to Bill Cosby's house; he always greeted me when I woke up with "Rapey-rapey, eggs and bakey."

What is the difference between the human rights act and a dad?