Law jokes

Why did the chair file a restraining order?

The booty wouldn't stop cracking up!

What does a crooked lawyer who is not on the ACLU payroll have in common with a crooked politician who has an office in Washington, DC?

They both sign their names using a blue pen 🖊 🖊.

Say what you will about pedophiles. At least they drive slowly through school zones.

Why do asses make the best detectives?

They always crack the case!

You hear about Rapboats' time in prison? He kept droppin' the soap on purpose.

Why does an orphan commit a crime?

Because it wants to be wanted.

Yo mama's so ugly, she looked out the window and was arrested for mooning.

Why didn't the 6th of Jan go well? Cause the shitty Trump supporters didn't carry out the damn job correctly and let the president down. Also, hang Mike Pence!

Roses are red, violets are blue, Bill Cosby will pudding rape you.

I just threw some cigarette butts on the ground while I was driving.

I wasn't clean after this.

I really wanna hit you right now, but that would be animal abuse.

Why can’t an orphan take medicine?

They need parental supervision.

"White on white crime, well ham rights crime anyway in Eastern Europe right now!"

Q: What's worse than f**king a 2 year old?

A: Wiping the blood off of your clown suit afterwards.

Q: Why can orphans never be criminals?

A: Because they're never wanted.

Q. What's the difference between people and a toilet?

A. Neither does R. Kelly.

Q: Name a murderer?

Aborted fetus: My mum.

When you hit a speed bump in a school zone and then you remember there are no speed bumps.

What's the difference between a baby and a salad?

I'm not in jail for tossing a salad.

Q: Why do women only use their lefts?

A: Because they don't have any rights.