Law jokes
I miss the good old days when you could have a light joke at someone else's expense. Like doing that marital rape thing, it never used to be called that. It used to be called "serving your husband" or "wifely duties". The real joke is that it was legal until 1990.
Why is that a joke?
Because it is piss funny seeing the look on her face when she wakes up in the middle of coitus.
Why is that a joke?
Dude, come on, you want to start your day off happy or not?
Why is that a joke?
She literally looks like she just seen a ghost and sort of flops about trying to fend you off like a rag doll. It's piss funny.
No seriously, dude, why is that a joke? It sounds more like a felony.
So Johnny Depp made an appearance on the MTV Video Music Awards as an astronaut. It really looks like he wants to be the new Elon Musk, whatever career path is most viable for Depp. I got to admit, if launching crystal meth into your nostrils and your anus is as viable as launching rockets to Mars, Johnny Depp would surpass Elon Musk in net worth.
Then again, the money Depp spends on alcohol each month, he could have bought all of Michael Bloomberg's penthouses in Manhattan. Sure sounds like he also shares the same financial advisor as Donald Trump, who thought it was a magnificent idea to launch Trump Airlines and Trump Ice. He already shares the same pro-Kremlin lawyer, by the way.
Man and woman are having a discussion. The woman looks into the man's eyes and says, "Honey, you know how I like it when you walk up and stick it in . . . "
". . . but I love it when Bob walks up and sticks it in!"
Divorce is scheduled for next month.
I have eaten 6 babies, 9 adolescent children, and 2 infants in the past week ;p
So, if being a paedophile is a career, then burying the bodies must be gardening.
I gotta do terrorist :)
What is the most expensive type of sex you will ever enjoy in your life? The type which will shorten your life by 5 to 10 years.
Why are there no guns in China? They might do some "ting wong!"
Greg is a pedo.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I know a pedophile,
And he says he knows you.
Why did Timmy throw the clock out the window?
It reminded him of Arnold Clock, the man convicted of knife raping his wife.
What's the best part of having sex with a baby?
Deep throat and anal at the same time.
What do you call an Asian that steals cars? Tommy toke a motor.
Where do rape victims live?
In kennels.
I molested a child today, and it felt quite lovely on my penis! 👍
What do you call a fat man with a rape whistle? Hogan!
If you punch an orphan, what are they going to do, tell their parents?
What's the difference between an American police man and a Christian?
At least a Christian kneels in church.
Why do asses make the best detectives?
They always crack the case!
What does a crooked lawyer who is not on the ACLU payroll have in common with a crooked politician who has an office in Washington, DC?
They both sign their names using a blue pen 🖊 🖊.