Law jokes
So Johnny Depp made an appearance on the MTV Video Music Awards as an astronaut. It really looks like he wants to be the new Elon Musk, whatever career path is most viable for Depp. I got to admit, if launching crystal meth into your nostrils and your anus is as viable as launching rockets to Mars, Johnny Depp would surpass Elon Musk in net worth.
Then again, the money Depp spends on alcohol each month, he could have bought all of Michael Bloomberg's penthouses in Manhattan. Sure sounds like he also shares the same financial advisor as Donald Trump, who thought it was a magnificent idea to launch Trump Airlines and Trump Ice. He already shares the same pro-Kremlin lawyer, by the way.
What is the most expensive type of sex you will ever enjoy in your life? The type which will shorten your life by 5 to 10 years.
Why are there no guns in China? They might do some "ting wong!"
I gotta do terrorist :)
So, if being a paedophile is a career, then burying the bodies must be gardening.
I have eaten 6 babies, 9 adolescent children, and 2 infants in the past week ;p
Man and woman are having a discussion. The woman looks into the man's eyes and says, "Honey, you know how I like it when you walk up and stick it in . . . "
". . . but I love it when Bob walks up and sticks it in!"
Divorce is scheduled for next month.
Greg is a pedo.
Jack and Jill went up to an abandoned house.
Jack drank too much and unzipped his fly. Jack said, "You know you wanna." Jill said, "No." So Jack locked both of them in the house and put a gag in Jill's mouth, tied her to a bed. He ripped off her dress and underwear. He took off his pants and his underwear too, then put on a condom. He then put a pill in her mouth and made her swallow. One minute later she was asleep. He took off her gag and mounted himself on her, then stuck his "candystick" in her mouth, next her fanny. Then his condom broke, but he was too drunk to notice. Nine months later a baby's born and Jack's in jail as the father.
What's the best part of having sex with a baby?
Deep throat and anal at the same time.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I know a pedophile,
And he says he knows you.
Why did Timmy throw the clock out the window?
It reminded him of Arnold Clock, the man convicted of knife raping his wife.
I molested a child today, and it felt quite lovely on my penis! 👍
If you punch an orphan, what are they going to do, tell their parents?
What do you call a fat man with a rape whistle? Hogan!
What's the difference between an American police man and a Christian?
At least a Christian kneels in church.
What do you call an Asian that steals cars? Tommy toke a motor.
Where do rape victims live?
In kennels.
Why can’t an orphan take medicine?
They need parental supervision.
Why didn't the 6th of Jan go well? Cause the shitty Trump supporters didn't carry out the damn job correctly and let the president down. Also, hang Mike Pence!