Law jokes
A broken pencil tried to break the laws of physics. It wasn't very sharp.
What does a crooked lawyer who is not on the ACLU payroll have in common with a crooked politician who has an office in Washington, DC?
They both sign their names using a blue pen 🖊 🖊.
Why do asses make the best detectives?
They always crack the case!
Why did the chair file a restraining order?
The booty wouldn't stop cracking up!
Say what you will about pedophiles. At least they drive slowly through school zones.
Why does an orphan commit a crime?
Because it wants to be wanted.
You hear about Rapboats' time in prison? He kept droppin' the soap on purpose.
If someone made a comedy routine about Terri Schiavo, would that be considered roasting a vegetable?
People who wannabe rich and famous rappers should always look at Tekashi 6ix9ine, and learn what not to do.
"You suck. I don't wanna be married anymore ://////"
When do you go at stop and stop when done?
I don't know, I'm not a pedophile.
Q. What's the difference between people and a toilet?
A. Neither does R. Kelly.
So my dad walks into a bar and there was a hooker and a child. I was with him and they both approached us and they said only £50 for head but it was a little weird that the child was talking to my dad and the hooker was talking to me. I was about to say something but my dad pushed me over and my friend's uncle killed my dad.
The kid was never seen again. Her name was Madeleine McCann. I think I'm the only one who knows where she is, but overall the head from the hooker was good.
I say 123, yeah, the kids bullied me, but they really don't know that my dad has a gun, yeah.
I was listening to my children praying, and my youngest that can speak said to me: "Mama, why is Gramma dead?"
I smiled and told her, "Well, less than 10 years ago when I was 5, your age, my Momma took me into the basement with some hot rando during a party. And 9 months later Shinana was born. One Pedo after another and your 4 siblings were born. The Pedo I met last night told me, 'If your mother's the one making you do this, do what you do best.' I listened and the next day she didn't leave her bed breathing. When the Pedo found out he left me and your soon to be brother."
She replies with, "Make his child support expensive!" Now he has to pay me 2,000 U.S. dollars every month, like the other ones that ran away.
Roses are red, I have a confession:
A man kills best friend after 10hrs anal sex session.
Me: 911, I just killed someone.
Cops: Cool, we will not come.
Me: Why?
Cops: Don't admit a crime.
Phones: *Bang Bang*
Me: Well, that was 2 crimes done.
If the dyslexic man wanted to adopt a kid, then how could he sign the papers?
One day, a snail got robbed by two turtles.
The cops arrived and arrested the woman for killing her cheating husband, and the son was sent to child services. (Moral - no one cares about the frkn snail and turtles!)
Cops be like dead from COVID hahaha. Should have listened to the law, you dumb dead pigs!