Law jokes
Why did the orphan commit a crime?
Because they wanted to be wanted!
Can an orphan child be arrested for vandalism, or will the officers ask for their parents to talk to?
"White on white crime, well ham rights crime anyway in Eastern Europe right now!"
Q: What's worse than f**king a 2 year old?
A: Wiping the blood off of your clown suit afterwards.
I really wanna hit you right now, but that would be animal abuse.
I'm an orphan, so kidnap me.
Q: Why can orphans never be criminals?
A: Because they're never wanted.
I saw a guy crossing a street once. The light was red.
Q: Name a murderer?
Aborted fetus: My mum.
When you hit a speed bump in a school zone and then you remember there are no speed bumps.
Two kids were beating up a kid in an alley, so I stepped in to help. He didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.
I'm in school lol.
If someone made a comedy routine about Terri Schiavo, would that be considered roasting a vegetable?
So my dad walks into a bar and there was a hooker and a child. I was with him and they both approached us and they said only £50 for head but it was a little weird that the child was talking to my dad and the hooker was talking to me. I was about to say something but my dad pushed me over and my friend's uncle killed my dad.
The kid was never seen again. Her name was Madeleine McCann. I think I'm the only one who knows where she is, but overall the head from the hooker was good.
I say 123, yeah, the kids bullied me, but they really don't know that my dad has a gun, yeah.
I was listening to my children praying, and my youngest that can speak said to me: "Mama, why is Gramma dead?"
I smiled and told her, "Well, less than 10 years ago when I was 5, your age, my Momma took me into the basement with some hot rando during a party. And 9 months later Shinana was born. One Pedo after another and your 4 siblings were born. The Pedo I met last night told me, 'If your mother's the one making you do this, do what you do best.' I listened and the next day she didn't leave her bed breathing. When the Pedo found out he left me and your soon to be brother."
She replies with, "Make his child support expensive!" Now he has to pay me 2,000 U.S. dollars every month, like the other ones that ran away.
If the dyslexic man wanted to adopt a kid, then how could he sign the papers?
Roses are red, I have a confession:
A man kills best friend after 10hrs anal sex session.
Me: 911, I just killed someone.
Cops: Cool, we will not come.
Me: Why?
Cops: Don't admit a crime.
Phones: *Bang Bang*
Me: Well, that was 2 crimes done.
One day, a snail got robbed by two turtles.
The cops arrived and arrested the woman for killing her cheating husband, and the son was sent to child services. (Moral - no one cares about the frkn snail and turtles!)
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a drug dealer?
The prostitute can wash her “crack” and sell it again.