Law jokes

Having sex in an elevator is wrong. On so many levels.

Why did the orphan commit a crime?

Because they wanted to be wanted!

I saw a guy crossing a street once. The light was red.

I'm an orphan, so kidnap me.

Can an orphan child be arrested for vandalism, or will the officers ask for their parents to talk to?

You know shit is going down when anything pumped up kicks related is brought into school.

Two kids were beating up a kid in an alley, so I stepped in to help. He didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.

I'm in school lol.

I always loved going to Bill Cosby's house; he always greeted me when I woke up with "Rapey-rapey, eggs and bakey."

A broken pencil tried to break the laws of physics. It wasn't very sharp.

What is the difference between the human rights act and a dad?

"You suck. I don't wanna be married anymore ://////"

When do you go at stop and stop when done?

I don't know, I'm not a pedophile.

Your mama is so ugly, her shadow got a restraining order.

I say 123, yeah, the kids bullied me, but they really don't know that my dad has a gun, yeah.

I was listening to my children praying, and my youngest that can speak said to me: "Mama, why is Gramma dead?"

I smiled and told her, "Well, less than 10 years ago when I was 5, your age, my Momma took me into the basement with some hot rando during a party. And 9 months later Shinana was born. One Pedo after another and your 4 siblings were born. The Pedo I met last night told me, 'If your mother's the one making you do this, do what you do best.' I listened and the next day she didn't leave her bed breathing. When the Pedo found out he left me and your soon to be brother."

She replies with, "Make his child support expensive!" Now he has to pay me 2,000 U.S. dollars every month, like the other ones that ran away.

Roses are red, I have a confession:

A man kills best friend after 10hrs anal sex session.

If the dyslexic man wanted to adopt a kid, then how could he sign the papers?

Me: 911, I just killed someone.

Cops: Cool, we will not come.

Me: Why?

Cops: Don't admit a crime.

Phones: *Bang Bang*

Me: Well, that was 2 crimes done.

One day, a snail got robbed by two turtles.

The cops arrived and arrested the woman for killing her cheating husband, and the son was sent to child services. (Moral - no one cares about the frkn snail and turtles!)

Cops be like dead from COVID hahaha. Should have listened to the law, you dumb dead pigs!