Law jokes
Cruel and unusual punishment.
Why was six afraid of seven?
Because seven was a registered six offender.
What did Bill Cosby say on the second date?
"Hi, nice to meet you."
I was looking at our Human Services Minister and thinking I'm surprised he's married.
The things you do for your cousins!
A lawyer bought a beautiful yacht. He invited the law firm to come aboard for a great weekend.
Saturday night was the candle light dinner and Sam drank too much, walked on the deck and fell over the rail into the water and was calling for help. Tom said, "Oh no, the sharks will get him." All of the party lined along the rail and noticed the sharks were swimming around him in a circle. Jim said, "The sharks are not even bothering him!" And a shark lifted up his head out of the water and said, "Professional Courtesy."
What is the difference between a hoe's birth Daddy and her pimp Daddy?
The first daddy plants the seed in a cunt, and the second reaps the harvest from the cunt.
Why is Donald Trump so desperate to break into the White House?
Most landlords cannot lease their properties to him due to the fact that he is a felon.
Where do rape victims buy their clothes from?
The kids section.
Q. What's the difference between people and a toilet?
A. Neither does R. Kelly.
Say what you will about pedophiles. At least they drive slowly through school zones.
What’s the best part of violently raping a sexy 10-year-old girl? Killing the little bitch afterwards.
A lot of people claim that white privilege does not exist. Well, how the hell do you explain Michael Jackson not being charged for raping children, despite ample evidence?
Do you know why I hate pedophiles?
They are fucking immature kids!
I would slap you, but that would be animal abuse.
You know what's so horrible about this website?
When I mimic another person's account, the picture ALWAYS changes color. No more identity theft for me.
What do you call an orphan who can't get 5 stars on GTA?
Not wanted.
What does Christian say when he wants out of jail?
"Bale me out!"
How do you make a body disappear?
You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel, and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in the ground and putting dirt over them is a lot of hard work!
P.S., I'm joking and don't condone these actions.
What is it called when Bill Cosby and an illegal immigrant fight?
Aliens vs. Predator
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a good body these days?
I think Jeffrey Dahmer had the right idea, just put it in the freezer.