New Law Jokes - Page 46 - Worst Jokes Ever

Why do lawyers use Viagra? To grow taller.

@shelby denver is a massive nonce.

My sister was at Sixth Street and someone stepped on her toes and she bled, so she called the police! XD

What do you call the only Trump Supporter to follow his orders to obstruct justice?

Answer: Attorney General William Barr!

Why did I f*** my dad?

So I could have s€x without my mom finding out. Should I not have done that?

Friend: Hey, did you catch that game last night? I did, it was so good! After that I went to Kane’s, because Kane's is amazing! What did you do this weekend? I did-

Me: Dude, are you the Terms and Conditions? Because I don’t give a fuck about what you say.

Here in IHOP, we serve pancakes, not pie cakes. If so, we can always bring in a chart that will power the customer. His smile will remain at its current form, and police surely resisted when I said the word "surely."

Hey, do you know why America sucks? We have the death penalty.

Two hunters are walking in the forest together. Hunter #2 flops down, unconscious, and Hunter #1 dials 911.

Operator: "911, what's your emergency?"

Hunter no. 1: "The other hunter, hunting with me in the woods, fell asleep."

Operator: "Check if he's/she's (not assuming genders) dead."

*Operator hears a distant gunshot*

Hunter no. 1: "What do I do next?"

Did you hear about the two people who stole a calendar?

They each got six months.

If you push someone that's bullying, if you kill someone that's murder, if there is no evidence it's nothing.

If a person in a wheelchair runs you over, can you call it a "hit and can't run"?

If a person in a wheelchair runs you over, can you call it a "hit and can't run?"

How do inmates keep in touch?

They have cell phones.

What is a prisoner's favorite punctuation?

A period.

Why?

Because it marks the end of a sentence.

These two cannibals are sitting by the campfire having dinner. One says, "I can't stand my mother-in-law." The other says, "So, just eat the potatoes."