Law jokes
A man once sued smart water for not making him smart. Then a woman replied, “Okay cool, now I’m going to go sue Thin Mints for not making me thin.”
Why do they have fences around cemeteries?
Because people are dying to get in.
Plz look up rainbow kiss - Bill Cosby.
Why did the credit card go to jail?
'Cuz it was guilty as charged!
What kind of star would go to jail?
A shooting star!
Did you know cannibals ate KFC?
Kentucky Fried Children.
Man and woman are having a discussion. The woman looks into the man's eyes and says, "Honey, you know how I like it when you walk up and stick it in . . . "
". . . but I love it when Bob walks up and sticks it in!"
Divorce is scheduled for next month.
Why were Helen Keller's hands crippled?
From reading stop signs at fifty miles per hour.
What's red, takes my belt, and what I got from a weird children's house?
An orphan.
Why did the police go to a baseball game?
Because a player stole the base.
What's the difference between a club and a bar?
I can only get dead hookers from the club alleyways.
Hey, What do you want? We broke up like 5 days ago, leave me alone. Ok, first wanna do some things? What kind of things? Illegal things. Like what? Knock you off and hide your body. 🤡🤡🗡
There were three men in a car: the driver, a homeless man, and a rapper. The driver takes them to the woods and says, "I'm not really a cab driver, I'm a wanted killer." The homeless man says, "I'm not really homeless," and pulls out a chain. The rapper says, "If we're gonna be completely honest, I'm not a rapper, I'm a cop!"
Police: Where do you live?
Me: With my parents.
Police: Where do your parents live?
Me: With me.
Police: Where do you all live?
Me: Together.
Police: Where is your house?
Me: Next to my neighbor's house.
Police: Where is your neighbor's house?
Me: If I tell you, you won't believe me.
Police: Tell me.
Me: Next to my house.
Police: *Arrests me*
Why did the chicken cross the road? To run from poachers.
If you're ever bored, just beat up an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
When you accidentally choke your girlfriend to death and then realize that it's your sister so who gives a f**k?
Someone kills an emotionally weak person by hard words and bullying.
No one will suspect the killer was anyone who took part.
Sending gay men to prison makes no sense to me. I mean, you have sex with a man and then they lock you up with a bunch of other men.
That would be like arresting someone for drunk driving and forcing them to become a bartender.
In the Middle Ages it was illegal for a blind man to become a king.
I mean, I don't see why not.