R. Kelly contracted COVID-19 recently. He was quoted as saying it was the first time he caught a case of anything over 18 in years.
Police Report: Looking for a female, light brown hair, blue eyes, freckles, and a small scar on her right check.
Last seen on CCTV wearing see-through bottoms, a pink top, and a vibrating dildo hanging out of her arse. If you find this woman, please get her to charge the dildo for excessive fun.
What does a kite and a criminal have in common?
They both get high.
What can happen if you bring a hooker into a stranger's house? He will ask you, "Really, are you nuts?"
If you're ever bored, just rape an orphan, what are they going to do, tell their parents!
Hahaha come on people, they don't have parents, we can do what we like with them...
Rape...hurt...and sell them!
Why did the orphan want to go to jail?
So he could have a home and be cared for with food.
Everybody is mad because that guy from Alberta punched a girl in a wheelchair.
I think he was upset because he found out his sister was cheating on him.
If a midget says your hair smells nice, is that sexual assault?
I got raped when I was 5 in my princess pajamas by my dad. Nobody laughed at these jokes; they just cried.
What did Santa Claus get Paris Hilton for Christmas?
He raped her.
Why did the robber take a shower before his robbery?
So he could make a clean getaway!
Why do mostly younger orphans get adopted?
Because who wants a traffic an adult?
If a deaf person is at court, then is it still called a hearing?
I was at the club and then my dad walked up and said, "You're 15, why are you high and at the club?" So I ran. Then my uncle was at the car and took me home, so I was grounded. Then my boyfriend came because my parents went out and we had sex and we were very loud. My dad came home and walked in. He had my boyfriend pin me against the wall so my dad could spank me.
Hit 'em with the 1, 2, Jeffery Dahmer!
If you unironically think someone who killed themselves should have their body in jail, you are honestly such a fucking embarrassment to humanity.
It’s too bad G won’t be able to follow in Kobe’s footsteps and rape a hotel employee but not serve one minute in jail.
Did you hear about the crime in the parking garage? It was wrong on so many levels.
"Suicide is a murder, and my body should go to jail."
Win a free ride in a police car! Just pick up a knife and use it!
