Laughter jokes
What's red and bubbly and scratches at the microwave glass?
A baby in the microwave!
How do you get more presents from Santa? You tickle his sack.
Everyone is a gangster until Helen Keller hits a 3 on you.
What game does an emo hate the most?
Life!
"Tibia" honestly, I think the reason I’m "bonely" is because you guys don’t find my jokes "humerus."
Maybe if I played the trombone it would get people’s attention, but "tibia" honest I can’t be bothered, so just look at my "BONE-zai" tree, although my brother doesn’t really like that one, so how about a "S-pine" tree?
So, I tell my friend a pun about Bach. She freaks out. Then I say, "I hope that wasn't too much to Handel. Don't let it Strauss you out."
For all of my musicians out there!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because these jokes are not funny.
Here's why the chicken crossed the road...
The chicken was on the run from a crazy-ass butcher ready to murder the poor thing, so the chicken crossed the road. The chicken was crossing the road, then a blind kid saw the chicken, and the kid was hit by a flying rock, his vision was blurred (what vision?) and was actually cured of the blind. The chicken ran and jumped into a truck's opening and was never seen again... The kid got up from the ground and looked at the road, to see the chicken was not there, and said..." The chicken crossed the road...." The kid yelled at everyone about the chicken crossing the road and got a lot of positive attention. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Reddit were full of the chicken nonsense and gained widespread attention from N.A to Asia in only 1 day.
The butcher was arrested for the attempted murder of a joke animal and was sentenced to over 20 years in solitary confinement, and a few weeks later, the sentence was moved to a life sentence, and the butcher became known as The ChicKiller.
The End (hope you enjoyed, I was bored so I made this shit...)
Why was the Ethiopian baby crying?
It was having a mid-life crisis.
I'd tell you a 9/11 joke, but it'd fly over your head and into the Twin Towers.
What does a cow sound like when in a horror house?
Moo mooo moooooooo (screaming)!
Friend: "UR LIT BRO!!"
Me: "That's what my sleeve said to my arm."
Orphan jokes are like families, not everyone gets 'em.
(Also, I banged ya mum ;))
Me: You have terrible jokes.
Mum: Shows me a mirror.
Q: What do you call a cranky cow?
A: Moooooooody.
What do you call an orphan with parents?
Idk, I never met one before.
Bonus joke: I went up to an orphan and asked where his parents were. He said, "I don’t have any." I said, "Wonder why."
Another bonus joke: Me: Hey. Orphan: Hey. Me: What do you do for fun? Orphan: Look for my parents. Me: Me, so they're not dead? Orphan: No, they just abandoned me.
More bonus: What do you call a homeless kid?
An orphan.
Last bonus: Why don’t orphanages teach kids about home?
Because they can’t find one.
lmao this is so funny, dark humor can be funny. Sorry, orphans!
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef......haha.....no one likes my jokes.
Hahaha. These eggs surely crack me up!
When I was in middle school, I was on my bus and people were doin' hairline jokes, and I heard this guy say, "Your hairline goes back to... uhhhhhh... 2042?"
When I self-harmed one day, my mother told me that it cut her deep. We both found that very amusing.
Someone: Stop making jokes about sh!
Me: Oh, sorry man, I'll cut it out, I'll cut it out deep!