All these jokes really hijacking my mind.
What did the Chinese girl say when she had a baby?
"Sum ting wong."
I was a sit-down comedian, then I tried to stand up. I fell.
I wished I stayed in the wheelchair.
Me: Good night, everyone.
My friends and family: Night.
Me: *gets in coffin*
My family: *stares at my friends* You aren't going to do something?!?
My friends: *to my family* Nope, this is normal.
What was the orphan's name?
Jake! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂🤣🤣😂🤣🤣😂😂
An orphan? We no jokes.
Jokeless orphan since they were always stacked on jokes.
All these suicide jokes are f***ing killing me.
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when you push them down the stairs.
What did they give Elmo before he left the factory? Two test-tickles.
What do you call the worst joke ever?
Well, according to my mom, I am.
I took my 5 year old son to ride some roller coasters. I think he didn’t like it because I challenged him to a no hands contest.
He said, "But I don’t have any." He wanted to know what dark humor is. Now he knows what it is and what it feels like.
Miscarriage jokes aren't funny, just cut it out.
I will remember my biker buddy's last words: "Why did you cut in front of me?"
Why did the doorbell have a good sense of humor?
Because it got everybody's pokes!
What did the blind kid get for Christmas? He hasn’t seen it yet...
What did the kids with no arms get? He doesn’t know, he’s still trying to figure out how to open it. :))))
Used to laugh at Michael Jackson for wearing gloves and a mask...
Yet here I am, stuck at home in this COVID-19 "Thriller," beating it...
What do you say to a girl with two black eyes?
Nothing, you told her twice.
When I was in middle school, I was on my bus and people were doin' hairline jokes, and I heard this guy say, "Your hairline goes back to... uhhhhhh... 2042?"
If you’ve got depression, then your life is a joke. Everyone laughs at both.
People trying to stop me from being depressed: “Just cheer up!”
Me: “WOW, I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT!”
