Laughter jokes

The only time rape jokes are okay; is when they aren't forced.

Q: How do you make a pool table laugh?

A: Tickle its balls.

Two girls have a sleepover.

Karen: Let's go to bed.

Lauren: Fine, but it's early.

*Karen wakes up and exits room*

*Lauren hears noise*

Mikey: You're so much better than my girlfriend, Karen.

Lauren: *laughs*

Lauren: *remembers her boyfriend is Karen's brother, Mikey*

Today is the day of 9/11, and we were in class making jokes, and somebody said, "That's sad." I was like, "Why?" And they said, "Today is the day the towers went down." I said, "Just like I did on your mum last night."

Christmas special

Me: Can you describe Mrs. Claus in 3 words? Santa: Ho ho ho.

bradley

Why did the basketball player not get on the bus?

Because he couldn’t be caught travelling! 😂

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Spell.

Spell who?

W. H. O.

Why do orphans hate knock knock jokes?

Because there is never anyone at the door.

See, morbid humor is just like water, not everyone gets it.

I was thinking of a good accident joke, and I asked my sister. She said, "you."

What's the point of hiding the screaming speed bump you ran over? You might as well hit it again to A: Stop the screaming. B: Make it look like an actual speed bump. And C... You think it's hilarious the noise it makes when you ran over its stomach.

I would tell jokes about Kobe, but they would just crash and burn.

Some people ask why jokes exist. I say, when a mommy and daddy love each other very much, they have sex, and they make another one of you.

My brother caught Covid last month.

First I knew about it was when he speed-dialled me at 3am and gasped, "I can't breathe, I can't breathe!"

I just told him straight: "Bro... you really need to work on your George Floyd jokes."

You're probably getting tired of these gravity jokes... but I keep falling for them every time.

Knock knock. Who's there? Crippling depression. Crippling depression who? Me.

My friend's mother thought a kid who had autism and Down syndrome called him a "double down."

*Watches sad movie with family*

Everyone else: *Crying*

Sister: How aren't you crying?

Me: I have no tears left to cry...

A blonde, redhead, and brunette are all sitting in a hospital's waiting room for ultrasounds.

After a while, the brunette giggles while rubbing her belly. Both the blonde and redhead look over at her and ask, "What's with the giggling?"

The brunette replies, "I'm having a boy!"

The blonde and the redhead ask, "How do you know?"

"Because he was on top!" The brunette replies again.

The three go back to conversing, and then the redhead starts to giggle while rubbing her belly.

"What's with the giggling?" The blonde and brunette ask.

"I'm having a girl!" The redhead replies.

"Well, how do you know?" The blonde and brunette ask again.

"I was on top!"

All of a sudden, the blonde bursts into tears.

"Oh, honey! What's wrong?" The redhead and brunette ask.

"I'm having puppies!"