Laughter jokes
You failed Helen Keller's speech class? It's okay, she's not a very good speaker.
What does an orphan say after a kid makes a "yo mama" joke?
"I don’t have a mama."
Kobe never missed a shot, but he missed the helipad.
I'm going to hell!
I cry when you leave the room. They're tears of joy because you have an ugly hairline.
This joke is so funny, I'll bet you greened (grinned).
Why are orphans so sad?
Because every time they swallow, they think... "You should have Mom."
When you see someone with a double chin that’s sad:
Hey come on, man, keep your chin up. Wait, which one?
Teacher: What is your least favorite holiday?
Orphan: National Forgive Your Mom And Dad Day.
Teacher: Why is that your least favorite?
Orphan: Because I don't have any parents to forgive.
Teacher: *tries to hold back* HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Are you a haunted house?
Cuz I am gonna be screaming when I come inside you.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Awww, don't cry!
One day when I was driving around our children's school with my wife, she saw a speed bump. She told me to slow on it, and when I did, we heard a loud, long scream.
There are three people in a plane that is about to crash: Trump, Obama, and a nine-year-old girl, but only two parachutes. Obama says, "Oh my, I need one. I need to protect my family," so he jumps off! Trump says, "Oh, I am the smartest man in the world. I must take it," so he jumps off. The nine-year-old girl says, "Welp, I guess he took my school backpack" :) so she leaves the plane! What a good ending.
Here's a joke: Your life.
Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! Well, pull yourself together, then.
Doctor, doctor! My brother's crazy! He thinks he's a chicken. Is he egging around? Yes, but we need to get the eggs.
Woman: Doctor, doctor! I keep thinking I'm an elephant! Doctor: Run around the room. Then the woman stomps around the room and breaks things.
Doctor, doctor! I fell like a bell! Shall I ring you, then? When can you ring me up?
Doctor, doctor! I have a ball stuck in my throat! Shall I bat it and get a run, then?
Few jokes (sorry if they have already been used).
1 I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
2 Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because he always has a great fall.
3 Have you heard the one about the skunk? Never mind, it really stinks.
4 It's always windy in a sports arena. All those fans.
5 What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course!
6 Comic Sans walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your type here."
7 What's the easiest way to get straight As? Use a ruler.
8 Why were they called the Dark Ages? Because there were lots of knights.
What did the clock say when it got punched at noon?
It’s twelve o'clock.
Knock, knock? Who's there? French. French who? French fries!
You can make fun of adopted kids all you want. What are they going to do, tell their parents on you? Lol.
When other people tell a joke, 3/3 people laugh.
When I tell a joke, 1/3 people laugh, but 2/3 people stare into my soul.
Knock knock. Who’s there? Mimi. Mimi who? Mimi’s got cancer.