Laughter jokes
Three men are shipwrecked on a jungle island and taken prisoner by the residing cannibals. They are all told to walk into the jungle and come back with one piece of fruit. They go in and the first man comes out with a peach. He is instructed to shove it in his ass, and if he laughs, he will be killed. He tries and dies.
The second man comes back with a grape and is instructed to do the same. When the two meet at the pearly gates, the first man says, "I had a peach. They're fuzzy. You had a grape. What's your excuse?"
"Well, I was doing fine until I saw Jimmy come out of the brush with a pineapple."
The only time rape jokes are funny is never.
1st Person: Do you want to know something funny?
2nd Person: Yeah, sure!
1st Person: I don’t know, I’m German!
What does the ocean do to its friends?
It waves.
(*Sorry I wasn't making any jokes for a while, I was getting sick of this thing.*)
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Rabid cow.
Rabid cow who?
Hold on, I need to get my gun....
Son: Mom, what's dark humor?
Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.
Son: Mom, I'm blind.
Mom: Exactly.
Man: Okay, tell me a joke without the expense of anyone's feelings.
Me: Okay, so an Asian...
These jokes are EGGxactly why I became a comedian, and I know how to BAKE on breakfast.
2 jokes in a row babyyyyy!
I saw an orphan on the street. I said, "Where are your parents?" He cried and said, "My mum and dad died in a car crash!" 😆😆😂😂🤣
Why do orphans not like jokes?
Because they hate your "mom" and "dad" joke because they miss their parents. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
What does an orphan say after a kid makes a "yo mama" joke?
"I don’t have a mama."
I cry when you leave the room. They're tears of joy because you have an ugly hairline.
Kobe never missed a shot, but he missed the helipad.
I'm going to hell!
You failed Helen Keller's speech class? It's okay, she's not a very good speaker.
This joke is so funny, I'll bet you greened (grinned).
Why are orphans so sad?
Because every time they swallow, they think... "You should have Mom."
Why are Helen Keller jokes so funny?
Because she’s blind and deaf.
Teacher: What is your least favorite holiday?
Orphan: National Forgive Your Mom And Dad Day.
Teacher: Why is that your least favorite?
Orphan: Because I don't have any parents to forgive.
Teacher: *tries to hold back* HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
When you see someone with a double chin that’s sad:
Hey come on, man, keep your chin up. Wait, which one?
Are you a haunted house?
Cuz I am gonna be screaming when I come inside you.