Language jokes
To master puns, you got to relish them first. That's how I must(ar)d it. Who knows, maybe you will ketchup to my level.
Read the next line.
Read the previous line.
Little Johnny was watching TV when he heard the TV say "bitch" and "bastard." He went over to his dad and said, "What is a bitch and bastard?" His dad looked at him surprised and said, "A bitch is a female, a bastard is a mailman." Johnny went back to the TV and heard them say "ass" and "shit," so he goes back to his dad and asks, "What shit and ass mean?" His dad says, "A shit is shaving cream like what I'm putting on my face, and ass is a coat, why don't you bug your mom?" Johnny goes back to the TV and hears them say "fuck," so Johnny goes over to his mom and says to her, "What does fuck mean, mom?" She looks over at him and says, "Fuck means carving, like what I'm doing to this turkey!" A few minutes later, Johnny hears a knock on the door. He walks over and answers it. He then says, "Welcome bitch and bastard, may I take your ass?" The people, looking horrified, then ask where his parents are. Johnny responds with, "My dad is putting shit on his face and my mom is fucking the turkey!"
Actually, it isn't a bear joke, but bear with me here...
What does a foreigner say when he comes to America?
I don't know, I don't speak foreignish...
Memes
What word starts with M and ends in RAGE? Miscarriage.
That joke never gets old... but neither does the baby...;)
If you say the word "gullible" slowly, it will sound like you're saying "orange."
I make science puns periodically.
"I asked my friend what his height is?" He answered, "I'm sans'sational!"
What do you call a man with no body and no nose?
No Body Knows.
No body nose.
"Ching Chong ling long suck my ding dong."
Shoot.
What did the cow say to the sheep?
“Moo!”
What did the sheep say to the cow?
“That was a bad joke!”
I entered 10 puns in a pun contest, hoping one would win, but no pun in ten did.
It was pornography class, and there was a break.
Two adults were "having a good time" till the teacher says...
Teacher: Hey! SAY ALL THE NUMBERS TO 10,000 NOW!
Adult 1: How about I say my ABC's?
Teacher: Go ahead, I guess...
Adult 1: A B C E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Teacher: Where's the D?
Adult 2: Inside me...
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 8 9.
An Oxymoron: A “Normal Autistic”.
Why can't two Asians have a white kid? Because two "wongs" don't make a "white."
Ching chong China.
Jing jong Japan.
Ting tong Taiwan.
Hing hong Hong Kong.
King kong Korea.
I’d tell you a Chinese joke, but it’s wong.