Language jokes

How does an American know that his time has come?

He starts hearing Vietnamese.

What did one cow say to the other? You are mootiful!

Hey guys! Want to know something cool? Google Jesus' language. It's Aramaic.

Next, google "God in Aramaic". See the results for yourself. <3

You are all going to be pun-ished!

What is a pirate's favorite letter? You might think it’s the "R," but it’s actually the "C".

I wanna tell you a scary math joke, but I'm too squared to tell you.

One day, in the Serengeti, a zebra started wondering if he was a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. So he goes around asking all the animals. He never gets his answer.

One fateful day, he dies and goes to Heaven. In Heaven, the zebra gets an idea. "I will go ask God!" So, he asks God, and God chuckles. "You are what you are!"

The zebra gets sad. He walks around and his dead zebra friend shows up. He asks, "What is wrong?" The zebra answers, "Well, I asked God if I was either a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. He just replied 'You are what you are!'"

His friend says, "Oh! You are a white horse with black stripes! Why? Because he would have said 'You is what you is!'"

A friend was doing bird puns on me. Then I realized that toucan play at that game.

Are butt cheeks one word, or should I spread them apart?

My son said, "What rhymes with orange?"

I said, "No, it doesn't!"

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

'Cause 7 was a 6 offender.

Q: I like elephants.

A: Everything else is irrelevant.

Me: Yo mama so fat her alphabet starts with O.

My friend: What's that supposed to mean?

Me: O B C D.

This is a true fact, the letter "F" in orphan stands for family.

What does an orphan's life and a pseudoword have in common?

They both have no meaning.

I told a furry, "Don't call yourself a joke!" I said to the furry, "Joke has meanings."

Why could dinosaurs not talk? Because they were dead.

Your mom is so fat, she starts with the letter O in the alphabet because O.B.C.D. (Obesity).

A pecan is motivated because pe-can do anything.

You call it turds.

I call it the forbidden chocolate.