Language jokes

Say: "eye"

Spell: map

Then say: "enis."

What is long, hard and has cum in it? Cucumber.

What is a 3 letter word that starts with S ends with X and has a vowel? Six.

Two balls sit inside a bucket. One turned to another and said, "Hey man, boing, are you sentient, too?"

The other one said, "I’m sapient, you are sentient!"

BOINGZINGA!?!

Why could dinosaurs not talk? Because they were dead.

Your mom is so fat, she starts with the letter O in the alphabet because O.B.C.D. (Obesity).

If I could make someone tell me their last words, they'd say, "Make me."

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Interrupting cow." "Interrupting cow wh-" "MOO!"

What do you say when a person trips?

You say, "Why you trippin'?"

I miss understood that, Miss Understood.

Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like an apple.

What is an animal that kids get for Christmas and can easily give to someone else?

A white elephant.

How do you say "nose" in Spanish?

hmm.... No sé.

Those were a-mug-zing jokes. They were Mugderful, and Mugjestic.

What do you call a man with no body and no nose?

Nobody knows.

I bought the world's worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it's terrible.

Somebody told me that black slang is just white slang in reverse. For example:

White person: Dad, you're home!

Black person: Dad?

White person: You can keep the change.

Black person: Empty the register.

What is a deaf person's favorite game?

Charades.

Why can't Asian people use a telephone?

Because they might wing the wrong number.

What starts with "N" and ends with "G?"

Nothing.

With the sentence "Die in Hölle," you can buy shoes in Germany.