Language jokes
Say "eye," smell "map," say "ness."
(I am a penis!) HA HA!
What does the "f" in "orphan" stand for? It stands for family.
Bro, I'm so gay I can't even spell straight.
The pterodactyl went in my bathroom and peed.
When I was in the shower, I couldn't hear it. Why? Because the "p" is silent.
Orphans
The “F” in orphan stands for family.
Is "buttcheek" one word, or should I spread them?
Why was the chicken in trouble?
For using fowl language!
If I could make someone tell me their last words, they'd say, "Make me."
What is an animal that kids get for Christmas and can easily give to someone else?
A white elephant.
Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like an apple.
I miss understood that, Miss Understood.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Interrupting cow." "Interrupting cow wh-" "MOO!"
What do you say when a person trips?
You say, "Why you trippin'?"
Those were a-mug-zing jokes. They were Mugderful, and Mugjestic.
Been learning Chinese...
69 is too-can-chew.
What did the Japanese man say to his friend after he killed somebody?
"That is very Wong."
What is a deaf person's favorite game?
Charades.
What starts with "N" and ends with "G?"
Nothing.
With the sentence "Die in hell," you can buy shoes in Germany.
Actor 1: "I'm Michael with a b and I hate insects."
Actor 2: "Where's the b?"
Actor 1: "THERE'S A BEE???????????!!!!!!!!!!!????????!!!!!"