Language jokes
What do you call a person with no arms?
Armless.
No, it's harmless.
My teacher: Time can't count.
Me: Every second counts.
My teacher: Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhh!
What did the American say to the Russian?
"Why are you always Russian?"
1 + 1 = window.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Fuck.
Fuck who?
Fuck off!
It's a grave mistake to talk badly about the death.
Do you know your E?
You're E tarded.
What’s up with the foot feet?
What is the plural of "goose"? "Geese."
What is the plural of moose? Well, it ant meese.
Well, it’s my first joke. Please forgive me if it’s bad.
kapteyn = captain
A person went to tell a joke: "Knock knock!" "Who’s there?" "I don’t remember!" (I think we need to moove on to the next joke now.)
I just now made this one up! Then I realized it is in the cow category, so I added the moove on part! 😂
You are so fat you tried to eat the word "edible."
You know, they didn't add the word "retard" into the dictionary for nothing.
You are shore to find loads of jokes funny even if I can’t kelp you find the right ones.
Loads of jokes are funny as I’m shore you shall sea.
What do u call a person called zaid? Zait and za3tar. lol
Johnny: Why do cuss words exist?
Mom: That's not something you should think about right now. I'll tell you when you're older.
|| 20 YEARS LATER ||
Johnny: Mom, now can you tell me why cuss words exist?
Mom: Because some people invented them so that they could use them when something annoying happened to them.
Johnny: Damn, Mom, you shoulda told me that when I was still seven 'cause now I really feel like that person.
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Figs.
Figs who?
Fix the door, it's broken!
I have a pun, but I will nut tell you!
What is a good nut?
A magic nut!
"I’m sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing.
Except at a funeral.
Fuck, fuck, and only fuck!