Language jokes
What do you call someone without a body?
Nobody.
Drawned.
What's a pirate's favorite letter? You'd think it's the "R," but it's really the "C."
Fuck off!
This for you roman y e e e nt
Memes
Confused unga bunga
What does a French woman say when you ask her what her favorite video game is? "Oui, oui!"
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The butt.
The butt who?
The butt goes mooooo!
Some of you people on here are complete incels and need to learn how to spell and properly construct simplistic grammatical sentences that actually make sense.
An Asian walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Do you, too, sing 'One Long Toy Cow'?"
The bartender says to the Asian, "Sorry, I don't speak Chinese."
How do paedophiles greet people?
"How are you, kid?"
M to de B, m to de B = master bate.
Why can’t blind people read this?
They can’t see.
How do you know when German people break into your house? When you can not find your bed.
"Dick dick dick, fuck dick nugget shit."
How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb?
What name is easy to say in Spanish?
Marissa!
The deaf man said to the waiter:
"Mmmm."
The waiter said, "No English."
Then the deaf man signed, "F U."
My wife's dyslexic, but hey, nobody's perfect.
A German priest went to America for a few months. Unfortunately for him, he did not speak the best English. He stayed with a beautiful, young single woman who worked at a nearby orphanage.
Every day, he visited her in the orphanage, and he always brought her small gifts, and of course to the young children.
The young woman thought the priest was flirting with him, and she knew he was not married. She left that thought in the back of her mind for a few weeks.
A few weeks later, she finally brought up her nerve to ask him. She asked him why he always visited her, and why all the gifts for her and the children.
Of course, due to his bad English, he struggled a bit with his sentence, but he said in his thick German accent, "Vell, I visit you and your, your littles, because the kind girls here are very beautiful and cute."
She was quite amused, and blushed a bit. The man was also a bit nervous, and appeared to want to leave her office.
The Priest then excused himself, and went to read the orphans a bedtime story.
He then muttered to himself, "Ach, she's catching on to me! Stupid! Zey are called little girls and boys, not child boys and girls."
I asked a Chinese girl her number, she said "Sex, sex, sex, free sex tonight." I said, "Wow!"
Her friend corrected her by saying, "She means: 666-3629."