Language jokes
Helen Keller can use Hodled's words because they are so bad.
Why did the farmer's wife chase the chickens out of the yard?
'Cause they were using fowl language!
What did the hecadrocophodecadus say to the hopetihopetifuckendecker?
"It didn't happen, but it should have."
Say "traffic," and replace "r" with "h." It sounds like... that thicc.
What do you call a dictionary on drugs?
High definition or addictionary.
What does a 911 call receiver say when they get a call?
"9 Juan Juan, who this?"
Fuck off!
This for you roman y e e e nt
What does a French woman say when you ask her what her favorite video game is? "Oui, oui!"
Fritzchen was supposed to remember three sentences. He asks his mother, "Mom, do you have any news?" The mother replies angrily, "Stop it!"
Fritzchen goes to see his father, who is watching a football match. When a goal is scored, he shouts, "That's it!"
Finally, he asks his sister, "Sister, do you have anything to say?" She is currently reading a story about a fool and says, "He is the dumbest person in the world!"
The next day at school, the teacher asks, "Fritzchen, did you learn the phrases?" Fritzchen replies, "Stop it!" The teacher is shocked: "Fritzchen! Don't say that to me. Go to the principal immediately!" Fritzchen shouts, "That's it!" Arriving at the principal's office, he asks, "Who do you think I am?" Fritzchen promptly replies, "He's the dumbest person in the world!"
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The butt.
The butt who?
The butt goes mooooo!
"Dick dick dick, fuck dick nugget shit."
How do you know when German people break into your house? When you can not find your bed.
What name is easy to say in Spanish?
Marissa!
An Asian walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Do you, too, sing 'One Long Toy Cow'?"
The bartender says to the Asian, "Sorry, I don't speak Chinese."
M to de B, m to de B = master bate.
How do paedophiles greet people?
"How are you, kid?"
Why can’t blind people read this?
They can’t see.
The deaf man said to the waiter:
"Mmmm."
The waiter said, "No English."
Then the deaf man signed, "F U."
My wife's dyslexic, but hey, nobody's perfect.