Language jokes

Stormtrooper: What happened to the Jedi Order?

Palpatine: Slew it!

I told you ten puns to make you laugh, and I do not pun in-ten-did.

You’ll parsley believe how many puns I have. Hopefully your funny-bone isn’t broken because these are real rib-ticklers.

Drawned.

Me and my friends were telling puns. My teacher said we should be “pun-ished.”

I would tell you a chemistry pun, but I won't get a reaction.

What do you call a person without a nose and who doesn't know much?

Nose-less.

What's small, stupid, and has no dad?

Ben.

I can tell you a pun about a pencil, oh! Never mind, it’s pointless.

What is a difference between a tree? Tree 🌲 was the day you get.

Why was one afraid of every number in the world?

Because ONE wanted TWO get something THREE FOUR FIVE at the yard sale, but SIX was not there. SEVEN EIGHT NINE as well. When all but ONE remained, it got TENse.

A guy walks up to me in the street and asks if you have to include the name of an animal in every sentence. I said only if it's relephant.

He says what about vegetables. I said not nesecelery.

"Baaad boy."

I love the letters of the alphabet.

What happens if you mix the two names "Shannon" and "Stephanie"? You have the name "Shanny."

Knock knock. Who's there? Hal. Hal who? Hal will you know if you don't open the door?

What do you call someone without a body?

Nobody.

What's only book rapeboat ever read? Rhyming dictionary, he got no rhymes without it.

Fuck off!

This for you roman y e e e nt