Language jokes
My teacher: Time can't count.
Me: Every second counts.
My teacher: Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhh!
How many feet are in feet?
My name has "anus" in it.
Teacher: Go through the ABCs in pre-school.
Me: Hey, teacher, omae wa mou shindeiru!
Teacher: NANI!?!?
Aren't I beary good?
Did you know there is no "p" in the alphabet? ABCDEFGHIJKLM(NOP)!
What do you call the worst joke teller of all time?
Ben or Chris?
You have Chinged your last Chong.
A homey thing is a house, and a sticky thing is a stick.
America: Saying, "I beg your pardon" in British English is like saying; "What did you say to me you orphaned big forehead shitty ass small dick bitch?"
UK: You Americans are so fucking rude.
America: Oh, I'm SoRrY mIsTeR fAnCy PaNts 👖
What do you say when your pet pig gets lost?
This is a pig problem!
Cock cock, who's there? Nobody.
Did you know that ASL is a dead language?
Yeah, nobody speaks it.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Madam.
Madam who?
Madam foot got caught in the door, can you please open it!
These are some of the greatest names ever: Dixie Normous, Dixie Rekt, Ka Monmi, Ice Wallow Kum, Dick Sinsider, Anita Biggerman.
"Fuck me, Jarry."
A french fry was talking to a potato, but the potato didn't understand what he was saying.
It was because he didn't speak French.
When people mean "phat feast," they don't mean fat.
When yo mumma says "phat," she means FAT but thinks she's cool!
What has it?
I need to go to the hospital because I'm getting shot by a PUN.