Language jokes
I can change a "t" into a "p," just drink it and wait a few hours.
"Hump a vow, it makes a cow."
So 666-3629, so get it?
Dan, I'd bent.
What did the funny bone say to the skin?
"You're not humerus, I am!"
"There are 20 letters in the alphabet, correct?"
"No, it's 26."
"Oh, I forgot, you are a cutie."
"You're missing one more."
"I'll give you the D later."
"....come to my office at 1pm ASAP."
Me: What are you?
Jake: A muddeasso.
I weeee is?
When is a door not a door?
This is 15 first-year treating a swan.
Students return: "Without payment?"
The word "I die with many important problems."
Later, you answer this point: "DSD, rats?"
I am Asian.
I am so Asian my pronouns are: heeEEE/Ya.
Why does nobody talk to the letter G?
Because it's always in the middle of awkward!
Once, asked if I played Scrabble, being dyslexic, I asked if it was the standard version or the deluxe dyslexic version.
Bro, gay jokes aren't even funny.
Like...
"Cum on guys."
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
Correctly spelled.
A Roman went to the bar and he held up two fingers and said, "Can I have five drinks, please?"
Once at school, a teacher thought I was Russian. Why do you think that? I said. The teacher replied, because you're reading from Right to Left.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Broccoli.
Broccoli who?
Broccoli hasn’t got a surname!
Spell fuzz.
Okay, F-U-Z-Z, which also, it sounds like "F U Z's."
I'm dyslexic. My sister was reading, "What's the book?" I asked. She showed me the cover. "You reading 'The Scared Bull'?" I asked. She started laughing. "No, 'The Sacred Bull'!"