Language jokes

Are you peeling well?

Where does Santa send his children to study?

The Elf-phabets.

A Roman went to the bar and he held up two fingers and said, "Can I have five drinks, please?"

What do you call a deer with no eyes?

Correctly spelled.

Spell fuzz.

Okay, F-U-Z-Z, which also, it sounds like "F U Z's."

I'm dyslexic. My sister was reading, "What's the book?" I asked. She showed me the cover. "You reading 'The Scared Bull'?" I asked. She started laughing. "No, 'The Sacred Bull'!"

Once at school, a teacher thought I was Russian. Why do you think that? I said. The teacher replied, because you're reading from Right to Left.

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Broccoli.

Broccoli who?

Broccoli hasn’t got a surname!

Once, asked if I played Scrabble, being dyslexic, I asked if it was the standard version or the deluxe dyslexic version.

What is your name? What am I pointing at? 👃🏽 And what am I holding? Hahaha!!!!! Knows nothing.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Utah.

Utah who?

You're talking to me.

My teacher said, "Words don't hurt!"

So I threw my dictionary at her.

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Butter. Butter who? I butter not tell you.

What’s a nut’s favorite Shakespeare line?

“To be or nut to be.”

Do you like my a-corn-y jokes?

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Walnut. Walnut who? I walnut tell you. It’s a secret.

Your secret is safe with me. I walnut tell a soul.

Why are you dumb? Because you can’t find LOLA.

French jab is ban French's backwards.

Today there was a line to punch me.

Yeah, that was the punch line.