Language jokes
"There are 20 letters in the alphabet, correct?"
"No, it's 26."
"Oh, I forgot, you are a cutie."
"You're missing one more."
"I'll give you the D later."
"....come to my office at 1pm ASAP."
What do you call a dead polar bear?
Anything, they can't hear you!
Y'know what rhymes with clash, zoom, dang?
Slash, boom, bang, snap.
X is for X-treme shooting!
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Who was in Paris?
I dunno, the title was censored.
What language do billboards speak?
Sign language.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Me.
Me who?
Not me.
There’s no “I” in team, but there is a “U” in cunt.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Ligma.
Ligma who?
Ligma balls.
What does the F in "orphan" stand for?
"Family," but there is no F.
It's important to have a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between "antidote" and "anecdote," one of my best friends would still be alive.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Knock knock.
WHO'S THERE?
*Starts putting up hand signs.*
Eh.
The "f" on orphan stands for family.
Can you really wheel my real wheelchair?
Try saying that over and over fast. Bit of a tongue twister.
I was cussing out this kid for stealing, and their mom walked in and said, "Hey, language!" I just said, "English, bitch!"
What is half of nine?
"ni"
The numbers 19 and 20 got into a fight. 21!
Why did the Italian cross the road?
C'era un uliveto.
What do you call a failure in another language?
Me.