Peel

Peel Jokes

Baby

What's the difference between a baby and an onion?

One screams when I peel its skin off.

Cat

What's the difference between a cat and a banana? It's hard to peel a cat.

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  • Wife

    My wife went to Niagara Falls and fell. She broke every bone in her body.

    One year later, she recovered. She slipped on an orange peel and died.

    Potato

    Why do potatoes make good detectives?

    Because they keep their eyes peeled!

    Orange

    Why is the orange 🍊 the fastest fruit?

    Because it never runs out of juice.

    Banana Peel

    Hi guys, I feel forgotten lol. I feel like a banana peel... no one will talk to me. Oh, I got a good idea! We do a Google Meet!

    Friend

    Friends are like bananas. If you peel their skin off and eat them, they die.

    Story

    Lemme tell you a little story.

    It’s night. You’re in your room, trying to sleep. But you keep hearing it—scratching. Soft at first. Like fingernails on wood. You tell yourself it’s rats, or the house settling. But it keeps going. Slow... then faster.

    So finally, you get outta bed. You get on your hands and knees, put your ear to the floor. And you hear it. A voice. Whispers. Crying.

    Your heart’s pounding. You grab a crowbar. You pry up the floorboards. One by one. Your sweat’s dripping into the dust. The noise gets louder.

    And finally... you peel back the last plank.

    And you see these eyes. Wide and terrified. And a pale little face staring up at you.

    BOOOOOOO!!!!

    It’s Anne Frank.

    Banana

    What music scares balloons?

    Pop music.

    Why would the banana scream "ouch?"

    Because it is getting peeled.

    Banana

    Why did the banana go to the doctor?

    Because he wasn't peeling very well!

    Banana Peel

    Be grateful:

    You're missing work today because in the past, someone cared enough to leave that banana peel on the stairs.

    Banana Peel

    There was a very lazy person. He saw a banana peel in front of him while he was walking... and he said: “Oh God, protect me from falling!”

    Banana

    Why did the monkey take his banana to the doctor?

    Because it wasn’t peeling good.