Peel jokes
Q: What's red and screams?
A: A peeled baby in a bag of salt.
When you ask your friend, "Can I hear a joke?"
"Sure."
"What do orphans and orange peels have the same?"
"What?"
"They both get thrown out."
Are you peeling well?
Hi guys, I feel forgotten lol. I feel like a banana peel... no one will talk to me. Oh, I got a good idea! We do a Google Meet!
Why don’t you peel a banana?
It’s too hard to kill your nana.
What did the banana say to the peel?
“Let’s split!”
How do you open a banana? Answer with a mon-key.
There was a very lazy person. He saw a banana peel in front of him while he was walking... and he said: “Oh God, protect me from falling!”
Why did the monkey take his banana to the doctor?
Because it wasn’t peeling good.
Watch Key/Peele "Detective."
Why do people eat bananas? Because it's a-peeling!
How do you make a pink Smurf?
You peel the skin off.
What's the difference between a cat and a banana? It's hard to peel a cat.
If you are a banana, why don't you eat a banana?
Oh right, you'd be a cannibal. I mean a banan-i-ball.
Last night I slipped on a banana.
My friend said it was a-peeling!
Why is the orange 🍊 the fastest fruit?
Because it never runs out of juice.
Lemme tell you a little story.
It’s night. You’re in your room, trying to sleep. But you keep hearing it—scratching. Soft at first. Like fingernails on wood. You tell yourself it’s rats, or the house settling. But it keeps going. Slow… then faster.
So finally, you get outta bed. You get on your hands and knees, put your ear to the floor. And you hear it. A voice. Whispers. Crying.
Your heart’s pounding. You grab a crowbar. You pry up the floorboards. One by one. Your sweat’s dripping into the dust. The noise gets louder.
And finally… you peel back the last plank.
And you see these eyes. Wide and terrified. And a pale little face staring up at you.
BOOOOOOO!!!!
It’s Anne Frank.
What music scares balloons?
Pop music.
Why would the banana scream "ouch?"
Because it is getting peeled.
Why was the apple 🍎 sad?
Because he got his peelings hurt.
I told my doctor I ate a bunch of bananas. It wasn’t a very a-peeling experience.