Lack jokes
It's not that I don't get the laugh, but most of you need to read through what's already been posted, 'cause everybody's saying the same sh*t.
Never got a mother's love, lol.
You don't have any balls.
Me: I know why you don't have friends.
Kid: Why?
Me: Because you can't even figure that out.
Why can’t orphans win trophies?
Because they can’t take them home.
In History class, the teacher taught a lesson about serial killer Albert Fish. Back in the early 20th century, Fish reportedly kidnapped, ate, and raped over 100 kids. He mainly chose victims who were either retarded or black. Further on the lesson, the teacher explained how in those days, black people were socially not equal with white people, and how people with mental illness were not accepted and treated properly due to a lack of knowledge of mental health.
One of the students raised their hand and said, “You ought to be arrested.” The teacher confusedly asked, “Why?” The student explained, “Because you’re thinking like Albert Fish.”
There are two types of faces:
The handsome one, but the wallet is ugly.
Then there is this personal face full of bumps, but even they lack a wallet.
I wish I could say that my life is a joke, but I can't because jokes have a meaning.
Why isn't there much honey in Brazil?
Because there's only one B in Brazil.
What do the initials BIBLE stand for?
Bull In Book Lacking Evidence
Why don’t cows have any money?
Because farmers milk them dry.
Why can’t I drive? 'Cuz my dad never showed me how, yet.
Why is the iPhone 7 not a smartphone?
It doesn't know jack.
Also, not love everyone.
What do you call a giraffe without a bowtie? Neck-ed.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?
Because he didn't have the guts to do it.
Uranus is blue from lack of service.
Two muffins are sitting in a bar.
The first muffin says to the bartender, "I'll have the usual."
The second one does not say anything to the bartender because muffins lack the vocal ability of humans, and even with the proper anatomy capable of speech access, they would most certainly be entirely unable to comprehend the human language. In fact, the first muffin would indefinitely not be able to provide speech to the bartender. The muffins also lack the muscular structure to be capable of support themselves to being suspended also preventing their access to movement. Even with the human-like structure, muffins lack brains, which are an essential part of being able to send nerve contact within the legs to be able to move. Also, with them lacking a brain structure entirely prevents them from speech. The anatomy simply prohibits the food items mentioned to be able to carry out any of the tasks required to get them to said bar and be able to speak, thus making the situation untruthful and completely idiotic.
If I had a loonie for every degree I have, I wouldn't have a loonie.
I don't have much motivation for things, that's why I haven't yet killed myself, hehe.